do you think of me the way i think of you

hmm

2008-06-21T00:25:00.003+08:00

haven't blogged in damnnn long.

this june i met lotsa cool people at RMUN.

started to learn guitar, gymmed like a madman.

so far 4 months gymming determinedly. gonna keep it up till the end of the year. gonna become stronger, faster, fitter, leaner.

haven't written much besides ystte, but meh. it's in there; i can feel it, restlessly stirring. the urge to write is omnipresent, just subdued.

must remember my priorities. friends, family, academics, music, writing, body.

japanese!! math!! projects!!

must. work. hard.

woot!

2008-04-29T19:09:00.000+08:00

Dear Wen Jie,

Good news, Kai Chai has decided to use your short story in the upcoming issue, due out within the week. Could you please send us a brief 1-2 sentence biography shortly?

With best wishes,
Hsien Min
Editor, QLRS

HURRAH!!

roaaaaaar

2008-04-26T15:34:00.002+08:00

haven't updated in long tiemz.

O_O tired!
still gymming.
still writing.
still... okay, studying kinda petered out.

MUST TRY HARDER.

._. my mom snores wahhhh

DECISION!

2008-04-02T20:33:00.002+08:00

wow, haven't posted in VEHHH long.

as can be seen by the horror that is my tagboard.

lately, i've been trying to become more active academically. i've told myself that i'm going to spend a minimum of an hour a day studying. preferably an hour on jap and an hour on math. more realistically, i will spend an entire week before a (math) test mugging (math), and i will try to riffle through my jap textbook every night.

physically! i told myself i'd gym every day. falling sick has destroyed this. nonetheless, at least i am capable of pullups. this is a small ray of hope in the midst of a giant dark field of black clouds and spooky trees.

and and of course. i'm gonna try to stop disappointing people. liek my parents. and my friends. (:

and beat hansheng and victor both at basketball!

stop calling me gay! ): <

lololol

2008-02-24T19:28:00.000+08:00

jonkoh is such a walking gayfountain<3

pek said:
DO I HAVE YOUR HEART?
pek said:
:O
Jon Koh says:
yes):

/chuckle

I HATE

2008-02-10T17:22:00.000+08:00

I HATE STITCHES.

I DESPISE THEM. loathe them, with every fiber of my being. stitches - not sutures, but the stabbing pain in your side when you run - PISS THE HELL OUT OF ME.

i don't know how many times they've ruined my run. my form is good, i'm not tired, BANG A STITCH HITS ME.

wikipedia says that a stitch is caused by your liver/stomach pulling on your diaphragm. and that means that you shouldn't eat before running. i get that much. but all i had was frickin' tea, man.

): <

damn pissed.

nard damn cute

2008-02-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

like the title says, nard damn cute la.

pek says:
NARHAHARHAHHGH
- [DL] Bern says:
NARRHGHAHHGHGH
pek says:
NARRARHAHGHHRGH
- [DL] Bern says:
NARRRGHAHRHGHHARGH

LOL.

and:

sampson says:
is tc a right angle
sampson says:
and why
sampson says:
and if its not a right angle
sampson says:
how the crap do u know tcb
- [DL] Bern says:
because i'm the greatest
sampson says:
...

SQUEE

sampson lim

2008-01-17T21:25:00.000+08:00

there's this fellow called sampson lim; an alright, tall guy.

or so one would think.

he's in basketball and the rafflesian times, slim, decent.

or so I thought.

Then.... this.

sampson says (9:21 PM):
"LETS WATCH ANIMAL PORN"

why, sampson, why?

):

a new year

2008-01-08T23:34:00.000+08:00

a fresh start. a clean slate, and everything that that's supposed to bring.

(:

the new year isn't coming off quite as smoothly as i thought it would be, but this moment is one i'd like to preserve - a year ahead of me, no crimes yet committed, opportunities to atone and to create, to achieve and to excel.

things like jazz piano and pool spark my interest, friends put life into my life, and school offers intellectual challenge. i've resolved lots of things, and i don't know if i'll be able to keep all - or any - of them, but i promise i'll try.

next year is jc, and this is an important milestone in my life. i have to give it my best shot. i have to do my best.

my mum likes to say depressing things like, "your father and I are worried about your academic studies", or "if you fail your exams it's fine, i'm prepared for you to stop studying and go and work". that kind of thing scares the bejeezus out of me - and for good reason, i feel.

therefore, to avert that possibility - which my mother has caused to loom HUUGE in my mind - i'm going to study. to go out, socialize, have fun, and be cool, but focus on academics, for once. for one year, if only for one year, i'm going to see what it's like to be on task.

it's too early to say, but i hope i'll be successful at it.

and that my pool improves. cuz now i sucks.

and jazz piano too.

and that i get to meet more cool people.

season's greetings

2007-12-23T01:43:00.000+08:00

haven't posted in forever. what's going on in pek's life, you may wonder?

perhaps a few analogies first.

you know what it's like when you play pool and you make a shot too fast? you just sorta miss your chance, cause you're too eager and too nervous and you make your stroke before you aim, before you consider. or when you figure everything out - made your calculations - and smoothly initiate impact only to see the ball dance mockingly around the hole before rolling out again?

it's like that.

or when it's your turn, and everyone else is doing fine, potting the balls they set out to get, but when it comes to you you're snookered and there's no clear shot to whatever you're aiming to get, or even any viable options at all?

it's kinda like that too.

in case you haven't noticed, i really like pool.

what've i been up to since the holidays started? writing? practically nil. schoolwork? negligible. preparation for next year? merely mental.

working and going out have been the focuses of my life for a month now, basically, apart from the initial month or so of gaming. working with victor for so long has really forged closer ties between us; he's a pretty awesome guy. and a tricky opponent in pool.

hansheng, too, has been someone i've been going out a lot with. together with victor, i've had some of the most lol moments this holiday with them. despite (or perhaps because of) his tendancy to say stupid/hilarious things, he can still be pretty level-headed when he needs to be.

going to taka and eating packet noodles seated on the floor is something that i've come to expect as a norm whenever i go out with samuel. because we is both likez noodles. yumz.

and ling is a dork. nuff said.

working with starhub is also a huge experience for me. besides being the first time i've worked, earned money in a legal and ethical way, and dealt with customers, it's also been a sort of testimony to my own capabilities. if i were to stop going to school, i could make 800 bucks a month; hardly sufficient to live any sort of fancy lifestyle, but good enough to survive. and strangely, it's a major confidence booster for me; going up to talk to strangers is also another skillset that i've picked up. communicating has always come easy to me when i'm working in english, but i've closed deals in chinese before, and the feeling of elation and accomplishment is just fantastic. like when you sink a lot of balls in a row at pool.

the nature of my work - roadshows or door-to-door sales - is such that it's a visceral, adrenaline-filled ride when i sign a deal. although i've only signed $250 worth of plans (i.e. roughly 7 or 8 deals) i also haven't been working that much; the guys i've gotten to know on the job (i.e. alfred, alvin, aris, rio, yean, uncle winston) have all been awesome and coolz.

no major upheavals in my life either. the only thing of note has been my trip to india (<333!) and my sisters' returning home (<333333333!!!!).

india was. just. freaking. amazing. beyond being a total culture shock (whoa blackkkkk and cows and elephants and no chinese people) it was cool in so many ways. the hotel where i stayed was lovely, as were the staff who i played pool with. hahahahhaa. they really owned me, and they're fantastically good, but they gave me tons of chances. especially the friendly large fellow whose name i sadly never learned - he always called me 'little buddy', which was true (relatively) and i never said anything but you're sorta a buddy to me too ^_^

i went to goa, a state in india, for my mum's colleagues' daughter's wedding (ostensibly, anyway) and the wedding was amazing. it was like a fairy tale; bars, fireworks, the most gorgeous wedding dress i've ever seen, music, exotic food... the bride and groom were elegant and poised, and i wish them all the best. good luck, aleisha and eric!

at the wedding, besides drinking lots of alcohol and listening to music, i also met a couple of my mum's colleagues. i sampled the atmosphere of corporate social events - it was good, but i was a little young. i figure in a couple years i'll find it more appealing. king, a singaporean photographer, was entertaining conversation for an evening, and i'd certainly look forward to talking with him again.

and as for my sisters, why one is back; and the other will be back in two days. so i'm happy, and although school is approaching - and i feel stoned/resolved to work harder about that - i figure i should just enjoy myself while the holiday lasts.

briefly, a list of things i have to do:
#1 get new school books
#2 get tuition
#3 figure plan of action for next year
#4 work out more
#5 get good at pool

bleh

2007-12-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

mm.

finally met up with sam and ling. and ling brought elizabeth. wuz pretty fun hanging out and playing cards and such.

i <3 sam.

i <3 ling.

i <3 elizabeth too.

and and and her.

nah, it's probably just infatuation.

but oh well.

uh

2007-11-09T16:01:00.000+08:00

my newest quest is to get fit and pwn napfa next year.

this year:
5, 5, 5, 5, 4, 1
wooo 25 point bronze =/

oh, my other newest quest is to get a 3.4 for next year's gpa, as well.

AND TO GET 20 SKILL FOR HALO 3 ARGH. BERNARD GRR.

the trueskill system is ridiculously biased. so i'm playing team doubles with my friend over xbox live; we're both lieutenants in ranked (i.e. we've gotten skill levels of ten and have won over 70 games before) and we start out as my skill being 7 and his being 6.

we play, we win.

our skill both goes up to 8.

we play, we win.

his skill lurches up to ten, mine is nine.

we play, we win.

his skill goes up to 11, mine to 10. NOTE THAT ALL THROUGHOUT THIS PERIOD I HAVE BEEN GETTING 'MVP' (i.e. most valuable player) IN ALL OUR MATCHES. i have a better kill:death ratio, the most kills, etc. etc.

we play, we win.

his skill goes up to frickin' 13, mine doesn't move.

we play, we win.

his skill goes up to 15.

we play, we win.

his skill goes up to 17 and i get 11.

WTF LAH.

SERIOUSLY, BUNGIE. WHAT THE HELL. MVP IS ME BUT HIS SKILL IS GOING UP WTFPAOISHDPOIFHWAEPRI.

AAAAAAARGH.

damn unfair. pissed me off. although halo is fun this skill system is PISSING THE HELL OUTTA ME.

HALO 3

2007-10-17T23:12:00.000+08:00

hahahaha BOUGHT HALO 3 AND I CAN'T STOP.

it's freakishly addictive. multiplayer with yiwei and bernard and shanghai (hopefully). TEAM SLAYERS AAAAARGH.

and i finished the campaign too! it was damned hard but i can say i finished the fight :DD

and and and. i'm a sergeant in rank! it means i won 20 games. and i can say that those 20 games were hard-won indeed.

i'm actually spending a lot of quality time with my xbox 360 lately. people keep saying "dota!" or "go out!" but halo 3 pwnns their ass.

though i also want to learn beatboxing, after a cool exhibition at school.

and guitar as well, because... well, it's funky.

so that's my after-exam life. i'd like to get back to the gym, actually. but it's hard, cause i like lounging in indolency.

lastly, i realize that i really really need to email my mentor =/ the last time i requested a portfolio review then she said okay but then she didn't get back to me and i was thinking perhaps she's busy but it's been a month now and i should email her but when i thought that it was during EOYs so i thought hey might as well leave it. but then time passed and nothing happened.

so now i'm like not writing anything cause i'm *refer to above* lounging in indolency. meh.

AAARGH BODILY HAIR

2007-10-10T20:06:00.000+08:00

at first i was afraid, i was petrified...~

then i got really freaked out and screamed.

AT MY BEARD ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay it's less a beard and more of... a few adventurous hairs going where no hair has gone before. I would post a pic, but i have no idea how to operate camera/photo thingy.

like i was sitting at the com, surfing explosm.net and bash.org when SUDDENLY WHILE RUBBING MY CHIN i felt these protuberances.

tugged at it, it hurt.

looked at it in the mirror, it burned my eyes.

i have 3 or 4 strands of hair peeking out of my chin! AARGH.

hair is spreading like some disease across my body =/

first it was calves/pubes, then lower abdomen, then stomach, then a BIT of chest hair - then my thighs - then AAAAARGH MY CHIN.

i'm turning into my father!

i'm going to have a beard!

hmm, actually, i rather like a beard.

anyway, i don't have a moustache yet. i want one. it's cool.

ZOMGS.

2007-10-09T19:36:00.000+08:00

_liying(three)4! hardcore<3 says:
hurr whats first person shooter

SACRILEGE
BLASPHEMY.

as i said to someone (=/) I'M RUNNING OUT OF WORDS TO DESCRIBE MY OUTRAGE. MY FURY. MY SHEEEEEEEER INDIGNANT AHRGHAHRHGHAHRGHAHRGH.

O_________________o.

DISGUSTGAHPWOIEHRHORRORAOISPDFOHAWERRANDOMTYPOSOIHAPWOEIRHPIAOWHEMCOASMD

go. here. now. if you don't know what the abovementioned is.

stop bugging me for updates!

2007-10-05T21:16:00.000+08:00

i have exams lah, post after exams :\

anyway, there's this dude called Maddox, who made a webpage;

and it's REALLY funny. hahahahahaha.

an excerpt from his book (a short one, to avoid teh copyrights):

'One time I dumped a woman, and she didn't take it too well. I told her to stop crying because I had only one roll of toilet paper left. This only made her cry more, so I went downstairs and made myself a sandwich. When she came downstairs to see what I was doing, she had snot running down her nose, so I lost my appetite. Of course, I asked her to reimburse me for the cost of the sandwich which I was no longer going to eat, at which point she exploded even louder. It seemed like no matter what I did, she'd keep crying and begging me to take her back. I finally got tired of it, so I told her that if she took my videos back to the video rental store, we could talk. By the time she came back, I had turned off the lights and pretended I wasn't home.'

he's an asshole, but he's DAMN funny. hahhaa.

realization

2007-09-19T20:54:00.001+08:00

jedi academy is incredibly fun!

there's nothing like pulling your friend into the air, hovering him over a gaping chasm, and letting him fall to his death to brighten your day.

i mean that in the most normal way possible.

ANYWAAAAY.

have been dotaing, slacking, and playing star wars for the past 10 days. and now there are only 10 more before EOYS!

holy crap!

suddenly struck yesterday with a dose of malaise and lethargy, and general ill-being. felt disconcerted - was damn happy before that. and then today my stomach clenched unpleasantly, like some rabid oyster, while i was playing computer games.

and then i realized. my body's TELLING me something.

it's time TO STUDY!!!!

not sure how successfull i'll be at it, but i've gotten around to finally buying my 3B keben for chinese. and arranged my notes for bio.

math will be a killer, revising 8 months work (the last 2 months of which i completely do not understand) iin 10 days. bio too. but my friends will help, and i'll bludgeon them into tutoring me.

heh.

and i hope i can stay away from lightsabers til' this time is over.

stuffs

2007-09-17T17:06:00.000+08:00

HEY.

Am busybusybusybusy busy. So will not be posting much. lol.

End-of-Years in 2 weeks! No, haven't began studying. Yes, am screwed. I'm enjoying DMP though - the gym stuffs especially. *is going to become muscle man eventually*

So. I is writing. Desperately.

Alrights, going nows.

Part 2 of USA Trips.

2007-09-11T09:47:00.000+08:00

Well, what else did I do in the US? Nothing much, really. Ate out almost every night (heh, heh) thanks to my eldest sister's booking of many restaurants. Heck, I ate out for lunch and breakfast too. I survived for 10 days on restaurant food and take-out!

The USA trip was majorly fun and it actually gave me lots of things to think about. I rather like living in the US, truth be told.

Sigh.

Oh well. The holiday's over, and it's back to mundane trials for me. I have a Physics CCT on Wednesday (i.e. Tomorrow!) to take! As well as my Japanese Oral EOY, also on Wednesday! And I need to begin studying for the rest of the EOYs that I'm going to bungle up (i.e. Biology, because there's a shitload of stuff to study, Math, because I suck at it, and Chinese, because there's a shitload of stuff to study AND I suck at it). And I need to fulfil my part of the mentorship thingamajig.

RAwR.

USA & CCTs & RT

2007-09-09T06:37:00.000+08:00

WELL NOW ME HEARTIES. ME IS BACK.

In case no-one noticed (sobs), Pek Wen Jie vanished from the face of the earth for ten days. His normally perma-online MSN... was constantly gray. And no, not because I was watching porn and therefore set my status to 'appear offline' as someone has hideously accused me. His normally vibrant blog was horribly desolate. And his normally active tagb- oh, who am I kidding. My tagboard is always dead.

ANYWAY. WHERE DID I GO?

No, the title of this entry is not an ode to acronyms. It's a description of my life.

So far, I've taken a couple of CCTs.

Bio - 26/40 (my eternal sorrow.)
Lit - 18/25 (did I say that bio was my eternal sorrow? I lied. this is.)
Physics - 0. Yes, you saw that right. 0. My physics GPA is plummeting faster than a whale and a pot of petunias.
Mathematictics - 0. Why did I make it Mathematictics? because then it's twice the number of characters of Physics. And why would I do that? Because it's double weightage, and therefore I'm screwed.

O_O_O

AAH THREE EYED MONSTER

basically, I left for the USA despite the entreaties of my Director of Academic Studies and my Common Sense.

Bah, fuck it, USA trip was fun. And cool. And fun. And family bonding (: And as long as my GPA stays above 2, I can get to Sec 4! And since it's now 3.15 (3.2 with Jap), I think I can barely scrape a 2.1!

-----------------------------
SECTION ONE: USA TRIP
-----------------------------

So I left on a wednesday morning with a heavy heart. That day, I missed the Math CCT, and some important RE thing. So important that after the plane trip finished and I landed in Newark Airport, in Manhattan, in New York, in the USA, in the World, I received an SMS;

"Pek Wen Jie, where are you? If you do not come to MPP now, you will be considered Playing Truant. Harsh punishment will ensue."-Mrs D'reen A'g

I was like, "oh shit!"

Quickly, with lightning fingers despite my burgeoning jet lag, I smsed back:

"Ma'am, am not even in SG lol, play truant what truant huh, you want to die is it-"

No, that's what I would have msged if I was suicidal and/or Bryan Koh. So I msged:

"Ma'am, am not in country."

Lalala. Happy happy. Took a cab, experienced firsthand the horrible New York traffic, gasped under the weight of my sister's enormous hippo-sized pink-and-purple luggage, popped a vertabrae or twenty trying to get it out of SG house, into SG cab, out of SG cab, into Changi Airport, out of Newark Airport, into NY cab, out of NY cab, up stairs, into eldest sister's small apartment.

But the next day, I remembered why I adore the Americas so much.

Their breakfasts!

My God! Those breakfasts! Heaps upon heaps of eggs in every imaginable position, missionary, doggy st- no, I mean, sunny-side up, scrambled, poached, boiled, half boiled, quarter-boiled, eighth-boiled, and sixteenth-boiled.

Ham, sausages, bacon, home-fries, pancakes, french toast!

And My God! Those portions! When I say heaps, I mean heaps! HEAPS!!!

(:

*sigh*

I sigh, just thinking about them.

Anyway, spent days in New York. Had ice-cream in washington square park, ate the finest cuisine in american heap-portions, read books under the glorious late-summer sunshine...

aaah. that's the life.

then i got ANOTHER sms at dinner.

From Mrs D'reen A'g.

"If that is the case, why did you not inform me when I met you at 29th August, Tuesday, at Lunchtime near the Staircase?"

O___O

I didn't know what to say to that, so I ignored it.

Heh heh.

Anyway, did so much cool stuff in the US. Bike rides along the hudson river - though getting the bike from the bike shop where i rented it to the river itself was damn scary. the trucks! the cars! O_O

and the humiliation! my eldest sister, the one who runs marathons as warm-ups, the one who can beat me in 2.4, the one who runs around singapore for fun, can also cycle circles around me.

hmm.

cycled for about 50 minutes at what to me was a back-breaking pace. when I finally finished, and got off, my thighs were screaming to be shot.

"SOMEONE SHOOT ME," they screamed.

I slapped them and told them to keep a stiff upper lip. You have to be firm with these thighs, otherwise they just trample all over you.

then my sister said, "hmm, that wasn't a very good workout. shall cycle more ba." and then she zoomed off.

and i got yelled at! because although the trail is gorgeous (next to the river, wind in your face, sunshine delighting in its power over the land and blazing in glory, trees swaying, the deep green-blue of the water) it gets rather narrow. And I was swerving all over the place, so someone yelled at me and told me to "keep right, man!" in a pissed off tone.

>_>;;! embarrassed pek.

brunch is officially the finest meal of my day. i want to live in the US!

anyway, bought two cool shirts. one says affliction, and has a skeleton with a rose on it! the other says affliction, and has a helmet. lol. I also bought these damn cool pair of rainbow shoes.

^_^! consumer pek!

okay, that's gay, i shall stop.

AND AND AND. OMG COMICS ARE FREAKING AWESOME. my eldest sister collects damn a lot of comics like "Fable" and "Lucifer" and i read them and they're DAMN NICE.

So I bought 9 issues of "Y: The Last Man", which was ALSO damn nice.

and 5 david farland books. haha.

I like reading (:

anyway, shall post more about thises next times. am tired, and am going to eat out soon.

cheers!

anxiety!

2007-08-26T14:07:00.000+08:00

lately, a major issue in my life is whether i'm going to get to go to the US with the rest of my family!

see, i have two sisters, both older, and both studying in the US. meaning, essentially, that i don't see them all that often. i typically go over about once a year - and sometimes they come back to singapore about once a year - and spend time together; a family reunion, of sorts.

so when my parents booked air tickets i was like, "yeah!"

but then the CCTs were on the same day, and i was like, "no!!"

after a long drama, i'm still not sure if i can go or i can't go. ):

mehhhhhh. this sucks.

on the bright side, I got CAP mentorship :D and won 3rd for interhouse debates! :D

windfalls and clarifications

2007-08-17T20:04:00.001+08:00

gah. i just typed this, and it got erased by matthew's stupid fanfiction link.

:(

anyway.

On the 16th of August, 2007, Minister for Foreign Affairs George Yeo came to Raffles Institution to give a talk on "Making a Difference". In the meantime, he gritted his teeth and allowed the audience to take potshots at him during a Question-and-Answer (Q&A) session.

The audience took potshots at him. I was among those who fired shots.

"Sir, what do you think of the ministerial pay hike?"

"Sir, if the 21 hostages captured had been Singaporeans, how would you have responded?"

and my careful question of, "Sir, what has the government planned to minimize the widening gap between rich and poor, and the have and have-nots in Singapore?"

he responded articulately.

I ended, as is now infamously repeated, with: "thank you, i have the fullest confidence that the government will take care of us."

in retrospect, i shouldn't have said that.

i've been (mis)quoted on many many blogs and as comments hurled at me while i'm innocently meandering along corridors- "I'm suuuuure the government will take care of us", "i'm certain the government will make sure we do well", etc. etc.

let me make things clear! I WAS NOT BEING FACETIOUS WHEN I SAID THAT. I WAS BEING SERIOUS AND EARNEST.

i seriously dunno why everyone thinks i'm sarcastic. or cheeky.

I'M NOT I'M NOT I'M NOT.

there.

although, i would like to raise a point that Minister Yeo, although being very articulate, was very adept at sidestepping questions and making them seem like he answered them perfectly. for example, when questioned about the ministerial pay hike, he gave an example of talented workers in the EDB being snatched away by companies.

this is unconnected with ministers; possibly in an effort to not say explicitly "ministers deserve their pay because they rock", and "if you don't pay ministers mucho cha-ching, they will flee to other jobs". however, he didn't consider the factors of job security - because, lets face it, there's no chance these ministers are getting voted out anytime soon - and other perks (for example, dining at various embassies, receiving national security guards, etc.) involved in the job.

and for my question, he said the government was trying to solve the problem, then he shifted the blame to the people, by saying that it was more important that people help each other. but as my dad pointed out when i dutifully told him about the thing, philanthropy can only go so far - the difference between a $10,000 salary and a $1,000 salary, for example, cannot be made up by charity.

so what have i learnt? that i'm gullible, and that Minister Yeo is a very slippery individual. In a good way. not that he's sly, but just that he's very eloquent.

now moving on.

lately i've been hit with a mega-uber windfall! tycoly, despite not really preparing a speech, i impromptu-d at the Moot Parliament Programme debates on the 16th of August. And asked questions on both the 15th and 16th.

my questions were thoughtful. my speech wasn't.

seriously, it was full of shit. it was spontaneous, and hit some points that needed to be hit, but wasn't very good.

luckily, it was funny, which redeemed it in the eyes of the judges, i suppose, seeing as how i got the 'best speaker' award.

well, as Mrs. Ang thoughtfully offered, "who did well doesn't always get recognized as being capable, and those who the judges said did well aren't always good." i will take my award with a pinch of salt, and thank whatever gods are up there that i managed to cinch it.

AND AND AND AND

OMG I GOT THE CAP MENTORSHIP!

i really dun know if i got it because the lady in charge of MPP - also in charge of CAP - told me with a conspiratorial smile that she placed me with my mentor, but I THINK I DID. I THINK I THINK I THINK.

YAAAAAAAAAAY.

Also! In a last update, my GPA!

How did i do, you ask?

well; overall 3.15. I got:

4.0
4.0
4.0
4.0
2.8
2.4
2.0
2.0

so... :\ well, nth much i can do.

anyway, happy happy :D

WCG

2007-08-04T21:16:00.000+08:00

heh, went to watch the simpsons today with joshua.

had to take two buses all the way to suntec city. now why suntec city? it's actually a pretty far place. ps, cathay, etc. are all closer to my house - closer to RI, too. so why suntec?

because someone had 'free coupons' for movies at eng wah theatres.

'oh yay!' i thought. 'that means i can splurge on lunch, since it's free!'

some time later...

Me: "er, when's the closest screening of 'the simpsons'?"

attendant: "2.15."

me: *checks phone* wow, 2.10. nice timing, eh? *prods joshua*

joshua: here. *rummages in bag, pulls out a tattered envelope containing two coupons folded neatly. he pushes it onto the counter*

me: ^_^

attendant: oh, we don't accept those on weekends.

me: O_O

joshua: O_O

me: dammit!

joshua: oh well, we can watch rush hour 3 for free on national day. hmm, wait. *to the attendant;* do you guys accept coupons on public holidays?

attendant: er, no.

me: dammit!

and so suntec was pointless.

OR SO YOU THINK!

see, SG is hosting the world cyber games (WCG) this year, 2nd to 5th august! totally awesome! so i went to check it out. was kinda like an arcade- filled to the brim with gaming devices and the roars of gunfire, magic spells being hurled around, the squealing of tires, and garish soccer commentary.

outside the exhibitions themselves, there were tons of people cosplaying! i took a couple of pics of a small kid who was cosplaying sasuke. someone cosplayed paige from FFX-2 as well- and a lot of bleach stuffs.

also, there were some very cute girls.

purely for the sake of advertising and getting the geeky male population which is the target market niche to come out, of course. apparently my sister says these chicks are payed tons to sit around, look pretty, and fawn incessantly over gamers to make them feel better and geeks so that they feel obliged to buy stuff.

but they were cute nonetheless.

argh, damn you! evilly effective marketing technique ):

anyway, have resolved that next time if i go to exhibitions will ask for a picture with aforementioned cute girls for notoriety's sake.

there were some dota players - smu lost, i think, to some other team. they were pretty good. there was an extremely amusing tactic one team utilised - they got a venomancer to chiong in, nova, then suicide. everyone aimed the veno and their hp went down; meanwhile, sand king charges epi outside. the moment veno dies, sk blinks in and gets a triple kill.

Sent lineup:
sandking
queen of pain
venomancer
bristleback
shadow fiend

Scourge lineup:
sven
warlock
spectre
zeus
tormented soul

as you can see, sentinel has ALL aoe heroes! WTH! they totally owned... the tormented soul was kind of useless, farmed like shit and keep missing stuns. ditto for the sven, who died very very fast.

so many aoes = gg for scourge. they tried to depend on a radiance-d spectre to late game own - which worked once; they team wiped sent, but were in no position to attack - with the result of sent having an overwhelming tower advantage.

whilst wandering about saw some movies about halo 3! it looks AWESOMEEE. but the laser fire looks silly.

then played fifa '07 with a WCG player.

see, i didn't KNOW he was a WCG player. he was this badass looking malay guy lounging around one of the machines. so i was like, "hey, can i play?"

"yeah, go ahead," he said, jerking a head at the other controller. "want to restart?"

he had scored 3 times on the computer in the first half. i began to feel unease!

"er, okay."

we started. he kept stealing my passes. then he scored, after outmanuevering my defenders.

then he scored again.

and again.

and again.

4 goals in 15 minutes game time - that's 15 * 6 seconds, or one and a half minutes.

endgame score: 9-0. i didn't even manage to get past the halfway line x_x

and towards the end he wasn't even trying. like after getting past my defenders he took half hearted shots - if he had done them properly i think i would have lost 16-0.

O_O total ego shatter!

but then i owned joshua in DoA 4 and Fifa after that, so my self-esteem was salvaged somewhat.

stupid victor and chien ditched us! and pay some non-commital lor. ):

oh well. they're assholes.

writingz

2007-07-31T20:51:00.000+08:00

i'm kind of bored with original fiction at the moment. i mean, it's fun, and you get a huge sense of accomplishment, but it's so -tiring-. gotta make up everything yourself. gotta make the characters. have to establish their back story.

so, as a form of rest and relaxation - and i never thought i'd refer to any kind of writing as rest and relaxation, but this is so much easier - i'm writing a bit of fanfiction heh heh.

it's totally rubbish and trashy but fun to write. hopefully fun to read. and it balms the soul and helps me write better original fiction :D

sigh.

2007-07-29T00:28:00.000+08:00

utter depression.

on the semi-bright side, my sister is coming home in three days.

CCT WEEKS!

2007-07-23T21:55:00.000+08:00

Completely ignoring the topic of this post, I will now proceed to relate something that happened a long long time ago but which i failed to post about!

Once upon a time, in the search for NWN for my friend...

i embarked on a great journey.

a journey which brought me from the farthest reaches of one MRT station to the platform, somewhere I rarely go because I abhor trains.

And with good reason.

BECAUSE GAY INDIAN MEN ASSAULT YOUR SENSIBILITIES ON THEM OMGGG

i'm not homophobic. i'm really, seriously not. but gay men freak me out.

especially when they pluck their eyebrows.

especially when they pluck their eyebrows and have a handbag.

especially when they pluck their eyebrows, have a handbag, and cross their legs femininely whilst batting disturbingly long eyelashes.

I inched away, whispering to my friend loudly and excitedly and untactfully, "hey, that guy, do you think he's-!"

he stared at me.

Oh no, GG, you might think! The end of Wenjie! Death by homosexual indian!

but NO. i was SMART. I was CRAFTY. I spoke in CHINESE.

i still elicited stares from every yellow-skinned person in the carriage, but at least i didn't get murdered effeminately.

my suspicions were verified when the G.I.M. buffed his fingernails in a most lady-like fashion. And sat down next to this buff guy who, upon realizing the nature of the person next to him, shifted awkwardly in his seat.

When we got at our stop i sprinted out and collapsed with incredulity.

"oMG" *collapse* "wow!" *collapse* "that was..." *shuddering crumble*

it was so surreal and weird.

and i did badly for biology prac ):

sigh, hope i do well for CTs.

2007-07-17T20:40:00.000+08:00

in all my articles at this blog i haven't yet advertised anything, not really. i mean, advocated stuff, sure. implored and begged people to buy things. but ADVERTISED? NAY, I SAY. so here goes.

once i was a happy boy.

it didn't last very long, because shortly after i was afflicted with DANDRUFF.

yes, that's right. pek wen jie was cursed with an itchy scalp and flakes galore. stomach-turning. hideous. and curiously reminescent of a snowstorm.

but then i discovered- HEADS AND SHOULDERS SHAMPOO!

HEAVEN FOR HAIR!

LIQUID COURAGE FOR CUTICLES!

and an amazing salvager of my pride, let us not forget.

it cured my problem utterly. suddenly, i felt like a new man. people began starting conversations with me in the hallsway for no other reason than to comment on my new hair - "hey, that hair, lookin' dandruff-free today!" "yeah, man, thanks!" - and to congratulate me. even teachers were noticing! i picked up fifty dollars on the steps!

no, not really. the last didn't happen, but i -did- cheat a vending machine.

anyway, then my lucky charm was stolen.

i ran out of shampoo.

in a desperate bid at a comeback, i turned to Rejoice (TM) shampoo, which my dad uses.

to put it simply, it doesn't work.

it advertises itself as 'anti-dandruff', and is a deceptively mild green colour, but despite smelling nice it -DOES NOTHING-.

but i did not know this. and i was stricken by the curse that is false advertising.

soon enough, i felt the repercussions of my mistake. people started gaping at my head. i felt horribly self-conscious. stray flakes killed a couple people off the coast of australia in a deadly hair-raising (aha, ha ha) avalanche, though lets face it, no one really cares about those goddamn aussies.

or the french, for that matter.

today i set out to right this wrong; to bring light to the darkness of lack-of-shampoo-status; to bring justice to the unju- er, nevermind.

journeying to coronation, i bought some REFRESHING MENTHOL HEADS AND SHOULDERS SHAMPOO!

and to my delight, upon arriving at my house and massaging that shampoo into my hair, i felt some blessedly genuine effects. a subtle burning that soothed my head and made me feel refreshingly menthol'd.

hurrah. shampoo, i've come home!

hmmm.

2007-07-12T17:52:00.000+08:00

neverwinter nights ftwwwwwwww.

i feel like writing. but at the same time no more impetus because portfolio handed up already.

:o

so hao?!

2007-07-08T14:32:00.000+08:00

i passed my portfolio up on time!!

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

i feel so pleased with myself. so very very pleased. and free. and like sleeping.

kind of aimless, actually.

:\

i wonder if sometimes homework and stuffs are useful because they lend direction to our chaotic lives; they give us purpose beyond just, say, going out or lanning or DotAing or whatever, because those things are entertaining but have no real benefit.

like when there were competitions (prose comps/debate comps/newspaper comps) or homework (huge projects due in a week!) i got uberstressed but when i conquered the challenge i felt so satisfiedddddddd.

perhaps i should seek out challenge for that high!

ROAR.

OMFG OMFG

2007-07-04T22:28:00.000+08:00

HOLY SHIT

I THOUGHT THE CAP PROTFOLIO DEADLINE WAS ON 10TH JULY; JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM MS ELSA CHEW SAYING IT'S TOMORROW

WHAT THE FCK.

I HAVE 2 PIECES DONE AND I NEED TO FINISH 5

WTH AND I'M WASTING TIME BLOGGING BUT I MUST SCREAM THIS OUT

AGOIHWEPOITHAWPOERIHPVOGPAER

HOLY SHIT TOMORROW.

AND I LOST MY LETTER OF UNDERTAKING, BUT NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE YIN LENG IS SCANNING IT FOR ME. I LOVE YOU :D

sigh. am writing now.

hmm update~

2007-07-03T23:01:00.000+08:00

sooooooo.

omg the biggest craze to hit wenjieland is DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS! or D&D!

it's awesomeeeee.

neverwinter nights and baldur's gate two and throne of bhaal! man, it's some fun-ish.

lol, spend many hours nerd-talking with sampson.

"OMG BAB WEAPON MASTERS GET 6 ATTACKS PER ROUND WHOAAAAA"

"HOW ABOUT MONKS MAN MONKS MONKS MONKS.."

19.90! everyone get it! lets start and RI ROLE PLAYING CLUB YEAAAA.

on a side note, my cap short story goal has been lowered to 5, the minimum.

i have fifnished one story; have two others hanging in the lurch, and the deadline is next tuesday.

fkk...

:(

my bloody story refuses to end. it's 3.5k words long, wth.

sigh sigh sigh sigh. sadness.

my endeavours!

2007-06-25T23:33:00.000+08:00

okayokay. i'm an editor for my school newspaper under our almighty-and-supreme-head gerald; what does this mean?! well, free (not really :|) cca points, a 'leadership position' sorta kinda, and the chance to encounter lots and lots and lots of cr- i mean, quality rafflesian writing.

obviously, this isn't the case!

editors work their asses off to process the immense hills of sub-standard creative writing that is the product of rafflesians everywhere who deign to send to us their work.

"substandard? who does this pek wenjie guy think he is? huh? he thinks he's so great?" i can hear you scoff.

well, yes, actually, i do. but my huge overbearing ego aside for a moment, let me show you an excerpt...

i suggested that we write an article on studying in a single sex school. i thought it would be an article that had the potential to be HILARIOUS! had the possibility of being WONDERFULLY WITTY and REFLECTIVE OF RAFFLESIAN LIFE! and CULTURE!

instead i get this:

Have you ever noticed, Raffles Institution and Raffles Girls School, the two top schools in Singapore, are actually both single-sex schools?

- by an unnamed contributor.

well, yes, mister brilliance, i had.

oh, no, that's not all. we have lines like

in my unabashedly modest opinion

- again a separate contributor who shall remain un-named

what is this supposed to MEAN. i'm anguished. i just look at 'unabashedly modest' and feel my face peel off and my tendons slowly tearing themselves apart in grief.

the language wasn't meant to be MANGLED this way.

/sob

...

2007-06-24T20:18:00.001+08:00

ohmyGODTOMORROWI'MGOINGTOSCHOOL.

waaaaaaaaaah ):

still haven't studied duzhes; done lit essay or parody script; crp;

... HMM.

deadlines:
1. July 10th - CAP PORTFOLIO ARGHHH 2/7! well, 1.8/7 really...
2. July 30th I THINK - GPA poetry/prose stuffs ARGHH
3. August Indeterminable Date - ARPOWIHTPIWEHT my six pack! which has encountered no noticeable improvement! ): which sux.
4. DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN.

i don't WANT to go to school!!!!!!

sighsighsighsighsigh. oh well. live goes on, i suppose, regardless of how many of us try and drag our heels on the carpet.

possession check!

2007-06-09T14:52:00.000+08:00

i have a psp!

it is a most delightful device. sleek, black, shiny, and fun! modified, and thus has many games i ripped off the internet. (:

it is cute and coy, and i think i may be in love with it.

only thing is i have as of yet had no success in convincing it to connect to my home network, but i have the fullest confidence that in the fullness of time i shall be able to entreat it into yielding in this aspect.

on a side note, "120 days of Sodom" by marquis de something or other is a most vile and disgusting work of fiction. i feel slightly nauseous and very dirty. :\

convalescence

2007-06-03T16:10:00.000+08:00

since cap, i've actually been holed up in my house watching an endless stream of Whose Line Is It Anyway? ruthlessly ripped off P2P networks.

it's FUNNY okay.

okay, fine, i actually feel damn sian. i would have gone out or something but sick sick sick ): and then i wanted to go gym but still sickkkkkkkkk and instead of doing something constructive like homework i ended up watching much TV.

and writing a bit.

MUST WRITE.

am bored.

sigh.

which is why i'm blogging twice in two days.

actually, the rate of my blogging is inversely proportionate to the amount of activity i have in my life.

:\

CAP camp!

2007-06-02T20:55:00.000+08:00

sooooooo. i've been gone for five days and haven't blogged for a while......

WHERE WAS I YOU ASK?

WELL, I WAS AT CAP CAMP! :D

5 days of thought-provoking fun and madness! Trapped in the queasy quarters of Eusoff Hall, our residential area at NUS, and bombarded by aCAPella (the corny daily newspaper) which shocked everyone with its lameness, i had a great deal of funnnnn!

Met sooooo many new people. and forged closer bonds with friends. In alphabetical order (the least politically damaging ranking, too! xD):

abishek (yo!), ashish, athena, ben mak, charlyn, chu ting, dione, eileen, gayathiri, hariz, lisa (elizabeth -_-), jerome, jen (i think?), jian yang, jonathan, joshua, jun wei, matthew, melissa, michael, michelle, nadia, (buayaemo) nigel bay, patrick, rachel, szu yong, wen yi, yin leng, ying jie, zhan sheng, zhi hui

whew. most of those people are from drama. this is because in my ORIENTATION group, i was the only sec3 and as a result ended up talking to michael, yin leng, and athena about 95% of the time. yes, my attempts at conversation with other people generally ended up flat. it wasn't for lack of trying. i started a conversation no less than 5 times with this girl, but when you keep getting 1-line replies you start to... realize that you're not wanted. :\

*insert sob*

oh well. first day was pretty typical of these camps. ice-breakers and a couple of lectures then drama; i actually fell SICK on my first day. jesus. felt so crappy that the moment i returned to my bed i just kind of fell into it and blacked out.

woke up at 7.30 the next day, half an hour past breakfast. i actually had this really funky dream about myself as a psychiatrist, and i was talking to this emo kid and asking him what he did to himself. he was hesitantly saying, "well... i kind of, you know, cut myself..." when a sudden banging on the door made both of us jump.

blinking and suddenly seeing a ceiling-fan-shaped blur overhead, my dream kind of segued into real life and i realized that the banging was still going on. O_O opened the door and saw athena and michael wee staring at me.

oops.

that day i skipped the afternoon trip to somewhere or another to nap for three hours. made me chipper for that evening and drama and it was FUN. did the translator-thing for drama and it was kinda like settling into a warm, comfy bed that you've left for a bathroom break. y'know, the whole experience was new to me, but here was something i'd done before; two months of drama didn't go down the drain, and it was familiar and nice.

the rest of the camp kinda passed in a daze. much laughing and funness throughout the day, got hit a lot a lot by athena (sigh) and making stupid comments in drama; played cards with yingjie and michael and ashish til very very late on last day; broke jerome's glasses (OOOOOOPS!!!! sorry ):) and chickened out of drama performance but oh, what the heck. bygones are bygones; the milk is spilled and the show must go on.

update: have recently found out that athena is damn paikia and goes clubbing o_O omg! wth! omgomg wth wth! she's 1 YEAR OLDER ONLY LEH.

okay, shall go out more since june hols are here :DDDD and have fun! and improve myself. when school starts i shall be a new wenjie.

and erjie's coming back on 29th july yay (((((((((:

rubik's cube

2007-05-20T23:05:00.000+08:00

Anyone who has been to Raffles Institution lately will have observed the phenomenon of the shiny multi-coloured cubes that have taken over much of the school population.

Indeed, it is not a rare sight to see bedraggled groups of boys wandering along the corridors and staircases of the elaborate complex with either a frustrated or furiously concentrating look on their face, eyes fixed at the level of their belly-button and hands blurring as they endeavour to break personal records and/or just solve that damn cube for the first time.

So, what's up with this whole rubik's cube thing, hmm? Well, it began, as most things do, as a little obsession; started by a certain Daniel Wong of 2M, no less. To tide over the overwhelming boredom of math classes, he fiddled around with a cube for the better part of 2006 before finally, triumphant - preening in the glory of success - he achieved a timing of about 35 seconds to solve the cube. Now, that's pretty damn fast. I'm considered an amateur and I can solve it in about two and a half minute, but two minutes is, in cube terms, the difference between amazingness and averageness.

That wasn't very clear. Let me try and clarify that.

35 seconds is damn fast.

Okay, moving on.

Soon this thingy spread throughout the halls of RI. WOAH, SHINY CUBE! I WAAAAAAAANT! MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO! you could almost feel the power of various social theories by various social scientists pulsating in the heart of yonder institution. like wildfire it spread, until EVERYONE... WAS... MESSING.. WITH... THE CUBE.

This author is no exception to social norms or peer pressure, and bought one for 11.90 a couple of weeks ago.

but this whole thing is remarkable because it just started again. from january til' april, the rubik's cube menace lay dormant, lurking, sleeping... gathering its power to attack impressionable young minds.

when everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief after the common class tests (CCTs) finally finished, the beast STRUCK!

suddenly, everyone was compelled to pull out a cube and get jiggy with it in the morning! before flagraising! during recess! before lunch! during math lessons! during social studies! nothing was sacred.

well, as they say, the rest is history. i find the cube quite fun myself. it took about 6 memorized formulas and a day to learn, but I can clock in quite a respectable 2:18 as my best time, so i'm rather pleased with myself. Portable entertainment, and cheaper than a VCR or a PSP; funness!

in fact, frenzied turning appears to train your hand muscles! the fleshy bit between my thumb and my palm was definitely aching after a round of rubiking, and my veins were going berserk o_O

EL blog article 3

2007-05-13T11:17:00.000+08:00

source: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/06/world/europe/07winner.html?ex=1336104000&en=1e78359cd59a3695&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss, 'Sarkozy Wins the Chance to Prove his Critics Wrong', The New York Times

Anyone who has been following the papers recently will undoubtedly know about the presidential elections that occurred recently in France. With Jacques Chirac as the previous premier, this new president - whoever he or she may be - would certainly have the unsavoury duty of fixing Mr. Chirac's past errors and keeping the support of the French masses.

The problems from Mr. Chirac's reign are many, numbering from weak policies that failed to decrease the unemployment rate (resulting in a staggeringly high 9% of all active adults who have nothing to do but wait for the dole), scandals regarding the sale of a nuclear reactor to Iraq and his subsequent opposition of a war on the aforementioned country, and in general an extremely discontent populace which would pose a problem to any hard policies the newcomers may choose to field.

However, the two main candidates that the presidential election has boiled down to - Nikolas Sarkozy of the Right-Wing conservative party, and Ségolène Royal, the head of the socialist left-wing party - have both significant achievements behind their name as well as proven their mettle in numerous broadcasted debates.

These debates, however, do not mean these individuals' policies to the viewers so much as an indication of the personality behind these political figureheads, and from this impression, the citizens of France have chosen a clear winner - Nikolas Sarkozy, who has won the elections with a 60% majority.

Mr. Sarkozy has indeed a substantial portfolio of achievements to his name; he became the youngest ever mayor in France at 28 years of age, when he ran for elections against a senior member of the party he was in. He also cracked down substantially on teenage crime, took initiative during crises when other officials dithered, and in general has had many high-profile projects succeed - and have this success broadcasted - throughout his career.

What I feel has brought Mr. Sarkozy to his current peak of power - becoming President - is a keen intelligence, steely resolve and an unwavering ruthlessness to do whatever it takes to reach the top. Though some may criticize him as being a true politician, as if that label is something to be ashamed of, his ambition has only served to propel him to greater heights. He knows what he wants, and he knows what to do to achieve his goals. Coupled with his decisive nature, he is a sterling leader indeed.

Perhaps this is what France really needs. Though it is the 6th largest economy in the world - coming in just behind the US, Japan, the UK, Germany, and China - its GDP per capita has been waning of late, although it has one of the highest productivity rates anywhere in the EU. With the massive unemployment and protectionist policies of existing firms, the economy has begun to stagnate. What is needed to revitalize it are not so much efforts to increase productivity, but rather structural reforms to increase the work-force as well as increase employability. These policies may be harsh to implement, but that Mr. Sarkozy is capable of doing so is undoubtable.

Though the socialist party has lost the presidential elections for the third time in a row, they still have influence on French politics, and surely Ms. Ségolène Royal will attempt to confound Mr. Sarkozy at every turn, but I have the utmost confidence that the French gentleman is capable of pulling through.

As evinced from the people's support, it is also clear that they appreciate Mr. Sarkozy's policies as he has outlined them - he has, indeed, been very clear about what his goals are, giving specific policies to combat specific problems, whilst Ségolène Royal has been more ambivalent - and that they do not find the prospect of greater economic health objectionable at all.

However, although all the signs lead to Mr. Sarkozy's swift rise in status and power, let us not forget that nothing can be predicted. Tony Blair was a similar politician, brilliant and charismatic, but he botched his first term and went on to support the Iraq war; two decisions that led to his declining popularity, and his current state of being booted from office. All that we can do to evaluate Mr. Sarkozy's worth as a president is to wait - and, perhaps, be impressed by the roaring economy that France has the potential to possess.

ri news article 4!

2007-05-10T10:52:00.000+08:00

Sources: http://news.asiaone.com/a1news/20070405_story12_1.html, "Singapore Ministers Set for Million Dollar Pay Hike", 5th April 2007

Although in retrospect this is slightly old, a month ago, anyone with even a hint of political and social awareness would have been engulfed in the flood of reports regarding the ministerial pay hike set to take place in the near future. The issue in question has already been examined from every possible angle in the media. The pay hike has been declaimed as untimely, selfish, indicative of greediness, and on the other hand has been defended as 'necessary for a competitive government'. But what does this hike mean, beyond a massive increase for ministers?

The first question one must ask is: who will pay for these pay rises? The answer, of course, is 'taxpayers'. To fund the huge paychecks that Mr. Lee Kuan Yew has deemed so necessarily, tax increases will also have to come in at some point; or budget spending on other areas has to be cut back, take your pick. This, predictably, has risen much outcry among normal citizens who've been going about their normal lives and suddenly are exposed to the fact that ministers plan to increase their already substantial paychecks to 2 or 3 million a year.

Mr. Lee, however, rather than being sympathetic, has commented with an acidic tone that "what these people really need is a healthy dose of [lousy] government for once", and that once they did they would beg more able ministers to come back. Perhaps he has missed the point. Being brutal, no matter how honest he is, is no way to appease your citizens

The average citizen cannot be faulted for being rather miffed about the whole situation. Currently, ministers draw about 1.3 million a year, roughly 1/3 of their corporate equivalents - lawyers, doctors, bankers, and the like. Mr. Lee and his governmental cabal would like for us to increase this money to 2/3 the corporate equivalents, or roughly 2.5 million a year for each minister

Take a step back, ladies and gentlemen, and just look at those numbers.

The fact is that although these ministers are indeed capable individuals who could do just as well in the private sector, we must ask ourselves these questions; if the only way we can get efficient, able administrators is through bribing them with a high pay, what kind of country - what kind of citizens, even - are we

More to the point, why in the world would we want people who become ministers only for the pay to run this country

Do we really want these mercenary individuals who serve only for these overwhelmingly high salaries? The current pay isn't little. It's not insignificant by any stretch of the imagination. Why, then, increase it?

What is certainly ironic is that these ministers are campaigning with such vigour for the 'next generation of leaders', when they are in actuality campaigning for their own money

It's not that the rationale behind the ministers' decision can't be appreciated. That capable individuals are attracted by money is undeniable. But what is the crucial difference between the private and public sector? There is only one; to work in the public sector is to work with the intention of serving. It is to work for the country, as well as for yourself.

Bear in mind, once again, that we are not paying our ministers a pittance here. Drawing a salary of 1.3 million is nothing to be ashamed of. Attracting talent is one thing, but besides talent I can't help but hope for certain other qualities in the leaders of our country; things like dedication, nationalism, patriotism, and passion. If these individuals who are motivated by things other than money - motivated by things like the spirit of public service - serve even in the face of such 'low' pay, then why increase it? Why place a burden on the public unnecessarily?

Although on a completely logical basis these pay rises make sense, something we must ask ourselves is this: if our ministers work for us only because of the pay, then what happens when the country is in dire straits? What happens when we can no longer afford to pay these ministers such high fees for their service? Will they fight, or will they flee to better areas where their talents can be better compensated for - with cold hard cash?

Chew on that.

MY AIMMMMMMM!

2007-05-08T18:35:00.000+08:00

a six pack!

=)

it sounds unfeasible now, but look for me in august!

to achieve this end, i read a few guides and have been working out on my own!

as far as theorycrafting goes, everyone has a six-pack somewhere in those mounds and dunes of fats. so to make this 6-pack visible, you gotta get rid of those fats, yeah?

so! #1, cardio exercises for at least 20 minutes to burn fats.

because the body relies on stockpiles for the first 20 minutes, no fats are gonna be burnt. running early in the morning also is good, since your body has no stockpiles to rely on. watch those infuriating fats fly!

#2, eat the right stuff at the right time. it's not good to eat huge meals, even if you need it. eat many small meals, typically 1 for every 3 hours you're awake. healthy snacks such as fruits = good. and, oh yeah, breakfast owns while dinner sucks. after dinner you're more or less inactive, and so you should preferably drink a glass or two of water before dinner, thus keeping your tummy trim.

#3, to burn fats, you also need to raise your metabolism; and metabolism increases the more muscle mass you have, so LIFT WEIGHTS! :D basically, train the big muscles in your body; the glutes, pectorals, and legs (thigh + calf). this is easy. i like lifting weights. due to my masochistic nature, i like muscle aches.

#4, of course, you have to build up the muscle in your stomach as well. bicycle crunches, reverse crunches, etc. etc. etc. and crunch machines! though, really, you should burn fat before doing this. since you're not going to see much diff. and thus may be discouraged.

MY TIPS ARE THERE! basically, it's what i'm doing, as well.

hungryhungryhungryhungryhungry but will drink water before dinner =)

recent events

2007-05-01T21:38:00.000+08:00

as the title suggests, a quick update on what has been happening in the life of yours truly.

with the advent of the uber-long-weekend (blessed be the name of our headmaster and lord, Mr. Bob Koh) i began bumming fantastically the moment friday afternoon swung around.

i was amazingly, breath-takingly free for four days (say 'free for four' 5 times quickly!) because we won the national badminton c'div trophy!

hurrah!

and numerous SYF golds, an ode to our profound prowess in all arts, atheletic, intellectual and otherwise!

however, as i'm sure those with much spare time know, unconstructive days often blur in their very ecstatically laid-back manner, their outlines sliding into fuzziness as one day of inactivity melds into another.

that being said, other than some wonderful relaxation time, a couple events of note occurred this weekend;

first of all! out of absolutely NOWHERE, huang wenjie and nigel fong popped into my humble abode on saturday morning, with a brisk phone call and a "hello, wenjie, can we gatecrash your house?" from HWJ. which woke me up. at 10.30, granted, but I still need my beauty sleep, to preserve my formidable charm.

"um... what the heck?" was my less than cogent response. "what time is it?"

"we attended a seminar," nigel chirps brightly in the background. i'm dazed. the room is dark, the only source of light the faint beams streaming in between the cracks in my curtain.

"yah, we attended a leadership seminar at nanyang, so can we head to your house?" HWJ continues. "it's 10.30 now, by the way."

"uh... who is we?"

"oh, no-one. just samuel tay, nigel, me, a couple others..."

"so they're all coming over?"

"no, just nigel and me."

"er, i guess it's okay then. but i shifted house."

"oh! to where?"

"just 200m from where i used to stay."

a brief silence, as HWJ's well oiled mind processes this information.

"um... what is it called?"

"48 watten view... i think?"

"okay then."

"are you sure you can make your way here?"

"oh, of course. nigel has excellent geographical directional skills."

and that's that. ah, the wonders of being prefects. competence in your companions is guarenteed, i suppose.

i lie in bed for a while more, relishing the sweet taste of oblivion, when another piercing ring from the accursed device next to my bed shatters my reverie.

"hello?"

"yes?" comes my admittedly grumpy reply.

"number 48, right?"

"yah!"

"we're outside your house."

and so it was. they popped over and i bounded downstairs to greet them in my pajamas. the moment nigel stepped in i began to feel self-conscious. luckily, my thick-skin ignored the improprieties of greeting two fully-dressed prefects, with gel-slicked hair (in the case of nigel) in my night-clothes and i began to think of what we could do. as always, inevitably, we returned to my xbox. amid several very inappropriate comments by nigel.

"wah, pek wen jie, you look... ahem, cute in your pajamas." he says, his voice very familiar. it has a tone to it that cannot be adequately expressed in words or over the telephone; it just has a bite, a ring, a glorious richness! it also sounds very singaporean.

"um... thanks?" i reply hesitantly. this is certainly awkward.

"yes. cute." HWJ agrees. I cringe. this is turning out worse than i thought.

"huang wenjie also looks cute."

"in his pajamas?" i conjecture, wondering where this conversation is going.

"no, with short hair."

i see.

once i got my x-box out, it was fine.

who knew that nigel had such a knack for crashing digital vehicles in such spectacular ways?

anyway, we had some fun before nigel left for chinese tuition (?! he gets 3.6 and he goes for chinese tuition? meanwhile, my parents don't let me go for mathematics or chinese tuition because they think i should 'learn properly' as opposed to 'using shortcuts'?! I WANT TUITION.)

then huang wenjie immediately launched into his... his... tirade.

i don't know. how many times can you be asked if you are trying to drive away someone in question before you snap?

"are you trying to drive me away?" HWJ asks, feigning a hurt look. apparently, he is trying to ascertain the above number.

"no, hwj, i am just bored and i think you are too. there's nothing to do. and halo is boring."

"but we can talk."

which is a little gay, but okay, i don't mind. talking can be quite fun. when he asks if i hate him though, the conversation goes nowhere very fast.

"OUT!"

"give me a jelly and i'll stay for 15 minutes more (:" he says.

"OUT!"

"tell me where the toilet it and i'll stay for another half an hour (((:" he says.

"dammit. okay, the toilet is there, but after this, OUT!"

he stayed for 4 hours! it was fun! but i think that wanting some privacy is understandable!

okay, enough.

shall blog about spid3rman and my adventures on labour day later! suffice to say I am achieving my goal of going out more (((:

though i still know no girls.

:\

kenneth's house (:

2007-04-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

i went to kenneth's house on thursday for japanese project!

though to be honest we didn't actually get all that much done;

but still, it was an accomplishment. and we got the script down.

his brothers are quite amusing. he has two, kevin and kenny. one is in ri, the other is still in primary school (nyps) and they're very cute. or kenny is cute, and kevin is funny. brotherly interaction ftw.

possibly aided by the fact that they all play WoW.

anyway i went to do work but that afternoon we had pe and i slept really little the night before so i was dead tired... and i kinda fell asleep in his house :\

though i was sorta aiming to. i mean, i was lying on his bed, with my eyes closed. a recipe for slumber if there ever was one.

and kenneth's mother put a blanket over me. how embarrassing >_< the last thing a guy wants is to be fussed over by his friend's mother mannnn. but it was nice and warm and i had a good sleep! so i was quite happy.

but then i got flu =(

and was sick =(

but today i recovered and went to WORK OUT! so i feel tired and satisfied now ._.

but tomorrow lit test! oh no! and chinese project due! and english comprehension test! and math graphmatica thingy!

normally i'm confident about lit tests. but i haven't read romeo and juliet yet. interpretation based on passages is fine, but any "what happened before this passage?" will kill me.

._.

writing~

2007-04-18T22:12:00.000+08:00

i need to force myself to write!

constantly crafting new works hones my style, which I think has potential (tee hee ((: ) but needs to be developed.

so i shall practice.

hurhur, to copy my sister.

in other words, I'll devote a portion of time each night to writing, besides doing crunches.

:D

am awaiting results!!! on both fronts!

salutations and achievements

2007-04-13T21:22:00.000+08:00

WELL! these past few days have been a massive eye-opener because of a couple of reasons.

#1, I got my GPA back.
#2, I got my CAP application results back.
#3, I debated for the first time in what seems like decades yesterday.

Elaboration, you ask with a finely arched eyebrow? Okay.

First of all, on thursday morning, the eagerly anticipated "there's-staff-training-day-on-friday, hence-there-will-be-no-lesson's-on-that-day-and-the-shockingly-brief-until-12.30-only-lessons-will-be-moved-to-thursday" event occurred. We even SKIPPED the first lesson of the day to watch some humorous attempts at dance by our endearingly clumsy foreign scholars. Now, not to cast any disparagement upon the achievements of our classmates from another country, but RI dances have been known to be stupid, laughable, and hysteric-inducing. In a good way. I mean, laughing your ass off is fun.

When we filed into the hall and the words "International Friendship Day" were flashed across the screen, I don't think anyone expected the following events- each major minority (that sounds stupid, even from here) e.g. China, Indonesia, one malaysian, India, and Vietnam performed some sort of ethnic thingy.

The chinese scholars did a two part thing. The first was a psuedo-kungfu act that left me cringing. Watching chinese people strut around stage punching the air weakly wasn't particularly inspiring. But what came next was much more entertaining - a couple of boys who were in denial of their broken voices came on stage and attempted to sing some very, very, very high songs. their voices cracked, predictably. laughs all around.

next the indonesian people came up, and straight-facedly, deadpannly told us that: "Indonesia is a country." When this elicited some laughs, they repeated it four or five times. THEN THEY DID THIS HILARIOUS POCHO POCHO DANCE THING THAT CRACKED ME UP. I saw my classmates, david and james, shake their hips on stage and it was FANTASTIC.

i won't go into the rest of the details, but let it lie that it involved a lot of dances and songs, some of which were more amusing than others.

during the dance, however, there was a sinister object being passed around. it masqueraded as an ordinary sheet of paper, but receiving it cause the poor victim to pale substantially, before diving into his bag and frantically searching for a calculator. at this point, the curse claimed its price; if it found you worthy, after much buttom-jamming, you would settle back with a relieved smile. or else, your face would turn a pasty colour much the colour of oatmeal with too much milk.

as the wave of groans and moans this innocuous looking paper caused approached me, i readied my tools of battle. the moment it came i was ready.

(4.0 + 4.0 + 4.0 + 3.6 + 3.6 + 2.8 + 2.0 + 0.8 + 0.8) / 9 =...

2.84. :\ not exactly satisfactory, but it'll do.

math sucks soooo much. i wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life trying to figure out how much money to give to the bus driver if math was abolished from the curriculum.

keh. anyway, moving on. later that day after third language i went for debates! and happily for the first time in a while i had a GOOD debate. in the sense that i didn't falter and managed to semi-eloquently string sentences together in a way that didn't make me feel like an utter nincompoop. it did much to boost my confidence. since the srjc invitationals, i've spoken a couple of times in training and i think i did pretty damn badly. the key to speaking fluently, i've found, is to write out my speech. it helps A LOT. when i'm nervous and i haven't had time to prep, simple points won't do it. BUT SPEECHES DO! :D

okay next. CAP application.

checking my email that thursday night, i noticed an email from my english teacher. "CONGRATULATI...", the title read in my inbox. it couldn't be too bad. then i remembered numerous texts that matthew had sent me earlier. matthew, being my fellow sub-editor of the newspaper and partner in crime, had sent me what equated to a gloating comment. "Hey, did you get into CAP?" it read. I replied, "i don't know. dint see lit teach today. did you?"

his answer: "yeah, i did."

now the pressure built! it was at 8.30 and i was going home from school. what if i didn't get in? how would i face matthew again? wild thoughts ran rampant in my mind.

luckily, as the earlier email may have hinted, i got into CAP. i felt this tremendous burst of accomplishment. moderately okay gpa, okay debating, and CAP admission! woo!

:D

my life is going just fineeeeeeee.

the world... of warcraft.

2007-04-11T21:38:00.000+08:00

it's pretty neat having a dad who plays the same games you do.

when it's a mmorpg like WoW, or world of warcraft, it's all the cooler.

imagine waking up in the morning. you're tired, sleepy, and want nothing more than to lie comatose for at least another hour or so. but since necessity demands it of you, you arise, drowzily brush your teeth, stuff some last minute PE uniforms into your back and in that lumbering clomp of the just-risen, move downstairs for breakfast.

when days like that occur (which is pretty much everyday) it's fun to be able to, in the car as my dad fetches me to school, ask casually, "so, did you spot any good finds in the auctionhouse last night?" or "your warlock level what arh?"

plus, since my dad plays so bloody much, he massively out-levels me. which means he can run me through dungeons! yay!

yesterday built some father-son camaderie when he ran my 26 rogue through VC. though my dad doesn't mind partying for quests, he has an aversion for partying in dungeons that i suspect stems from his racism. yes, he despises gnomes, for some strange reason. due to some bad experiences, my dad has recently started going out of his way to inconvenience characters of the gnome/dwarf race, to the point of snarkily typing ":)"s while they're getting mauled by enemies.

anyway, the dungeon-running was definitely fun. and, instead of pestering my online friends to run me, i can bug my DAD. how awesome is that.

i might even get twinked!

shall post screenshots the next time it happens.

:)

malaise

2007-04-10T21:23:00.000+08:00

i recall a sentence that tickled me immensely- "english is a language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary". this certainly is true. english is gratuitously littered with musical phrases that tinkle upon the ear like so much fine glass, but these phrases and figures of speech are certainly not anglo-saxon in origin. latin, greek, french, german, spanish, and even certain chinese words are smuggled in, bastardized, repackaged, and then sold with a smile and a pat on the back by dictionary-authors to unsuspecting fools.

setting aside that inconsequential tirade for a moment, today was the mark of an astonishing decision on my part- i resolved to write a short story and a poem a month, starting from april, in the (admittedly somewhat vain) hopes of instigating my flagging writer's instinct back into life. after the indolent lounging that it has done in the sleazy backrooms of my brain, some urgent resuscitation is needed. i've begun by formalizing my blog writing - off, you run-on sentences, and you one-word paragraphs. you have served me well, but your time has come.

perhaps not. i suspect that if i wrote in that manner, my readership would diminish fast. oh well. i'll expose my inner author to the glaring daylight of the internet enough to keep him alive, and i'll tuck him in for the rest.

anyway, today I went for debate again. mrs smith has repeatedly told me that she wants to hear me speak for a couple of trainings now, and i quail in apprehension at the day that i must demonstrate my fallibility in front of the whole debate club. well, one thing's for sure, pessimists never get disappointed. i must PRACTICE, goddammit, and READ, before mrs. smith's impression of me as a stellar debater is erased and replaced with the mental image of me stuttering and repeating the same point over and over again.

ARGH.

TENSION. STRESS. AHROEIWHPGIHEPWGOWe.

I shall endure, as always.

the number... 23.

2007-04-07T17:47:00.000+08:00

On good friday, i went out with a couple of friends to watch the movie 'the number 23', jim carrey's first serious-movie debut. the thriller certainly exceeded my expectations - despite a series of corny jokes by jim carrey, he lived up to the role surprisingly well, and portrayed the obsessed walter with a definite flair

the plot of the movie itself is about this guy who reads a book. within this book, entitled 'the number 23', he finds shocking similarities to his own life, down to tiny little details that no one else could have known. to avoid spoilers, lets just say that as he proceeds to finish the book, he becomes embroiled in a huge murder mystery that has plenty of its shares of twists and turns, with the ominous curves of the number '23' constantly hovering about, almost like a grim angel counting down the minutes to doom.

the intro started off with a lot of facts about 23, and i was kinda freaked out but at the same time awed by the depths that people could go to to prove a theory right. but when i played a dota game today and it ended in the manner above, i wasn't so amused

when the game ended, the team kills were as follows: 23-32.

I kid you not.

that was enough to amaze me. whoaa! some coincidence going on there. but when i went on to look at the time that the game ended, it was 59 minutes and 45 seconds. 59:45, in other words. add it up... 5 + 9 + 4 + 5 = 23

Freaked out yet?

And my character was lvl 23.

And i was the first to notice the discrepancy

AHHH! SAVE ME FROM THE EVIL NUMBER MUMMY T_T

profile~

2007-04-05T20:29:00.000+08:00

today, i'll do a profile on my good friend, Hoo Pei De.

dimunitive in nature and size, this gentle not-so-giant boy spends his time in a distracted daze, often good-naturedly shrugging off things that other people might find offensive or irritating. he tolerates smacks, pinches, whacks etc. patiently and with an almost saintly air around him.

but once he goes online, HE TRANSFORMS INTO A MONSTER!

out with his mild-mannered speech! in with some hideous JANGO THAT IS UNDECIPHERABLE! a typical dota game with peide goes like this:

PD: random exclamation, followed by a malformed singaporean word, for example lerhx, larhx, etc.
Me: *corrects PD*
PD: walao

in that manner. gosh. just seeing the word walao makes me cringe. not to mention the strange way he distorts words.

an example:
me: well... porn is a fact of life.
PD: but is it p0rn?
me: ... peide, i don't see how spelling porn with a zero makes things better.
PD: *ignores me and proceeds* it's not p0rn, right?

or:
PD: he was damn farnie
me: it's spelled funny, pd
PD: walao

And during a game of dota, peide again goes through a series of changes to become extremely psychadelic and funky. the normally calm boy goes into a frenzy whenever someone lags, often spamming a word in the vain hopes that he will disconnect:

[a player on the opposing team lags. the timer starts, and when it hits zero he will be dropped from the game.]
PD: ASFSF
PD: POSIHEG
PD: WIOHGEP
PD: D
PD: J
PD: J
PD: J
PD: J
PD: J
PD: J
PD: J
PD: J
person: wtf
PD: W
PD: W
PD: W
PD: DROP!
PD: DROP!
PD: DROP!
person: stop being a fag
PD: DROP!
[random player stops lagging.]
random player: you're such an asshole
PD: lolx so farnie

as you might have realized, playing with peide online is occasionally - okay, i lied, always - irritating. unless he's nice and quiet. which usually means he's afk.

a general rule of thumb would be, rely on peide in a pinch, trust him with your secrets, tell him your innermost shame, but don't play dota with him or chat with him online.

thus ends my profile on peide.

my 'n' key hates me!

2007-03-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

all lewd puns aside, charmaine's cat is very cute.

like a puffball.

okay, next up is a special report on my life.

i have a laptop!

it's not a particularly new or pretty one. metallic, gray, heavy, it appeals aesthetically so much as it reminds one of a symmetrically beautiful brick.

but it can play dota! which is very very very important.

sadly, it has no ports for my handphone media card thingymajig. so i'm forced to show people images face-to-face, instead of actually being able to upload random stuffies.

being old and moldy, its graphic card also tends towards the antique. anything newer than last year results in a serious bog down of frame rate. attempting to play 'dark star one', a game gamespot labelled as "easy to run", resulted in a series of slideshows whenever there was more than one object one the screen (i.e. me). which basically is the whole game.

so i gave up on that.

i mean, so my laptop can't play everything i'd like it to. maybe it can't play those computer games that i could spend hours gazing at with the sheen of a store window between me and that delicious plastic casing. so?! it doesn't matter! IT DOESN'T MATTER I SAID.

so what if i kinda wish my laptop could play more games. so what, huh?!

anyway, the thing is that with dota and typing and writing i tend to put the keyboard under a significant amount of strain. but so far it's held up remarkably well - a coupleee~ of keys fell out, but nothing a bit of tweaking and a determined pushing-back-into-place-with-fingers-and-a-pencil couldn't fix.

UNTIL!

one day i was typing and when i hit 'n' particularly forcefully, i heard a 'crak'.

rather ominous. especially on a laptop-keyboard, when normal sounds of fingers striking keys sound more like 'fppt'.

so i poked the key. and it FELL OFF.

everything fell off.

as in, i pulled the key-cap away and below was just the metal backing and a pressure sensor.

omfg. i was utterly stunned. at a loss for thought or speech. what was i to do now? unattended, my character on screen died a horrible death, raped by 3 heroes in mid lane. feebly, i jabbed the key back on.

it didn't hold.

right now, as i'm typing this, i wince every time my finger hits the 'n' key. if i let it linger there more more than half a second i get zapped. painfully. rather like my ipod headphone wire, frayed to the point of zapping any inch of uncovered skin with an unholy glee.

What i do?!??!

my dad fixed it. but it felt weird so i took it off again. i dunno how to explain it; the sensation of hitting the key just didn't feel right. oh well.

then i got the 'bright' <- note the quotation marks; they indicate that it turned out rather badly <- idea that it would be GREAT if i could insulate my finger. so i wrapped a thin sheet of tissue paper around it like a turban on an uncompromising head. but it didn't want to stay, so... i... wet it...

even typing it makes me feel kinda stupid.

when i hit the metal backing i felt this jolt up my arm. my hand went numb. i jerked it away and swore softly. bad idea. bad, bad, bad idea. my finger thrummed painfully. ouch!

well, my n key is critically injured and fading fast. hope you rest well in heaven, while i try to figure out your replacement. :\

more damning evidence!

2007-03-28T19:31:00.000+08:00

shu kiat's villany, it seems, is widespread.

more innocent victims have come in, sobbing and reporting of his various misdeeds.

ky- screwed up physics RE presentation. it's all bcos of the heisenberg
uncertainty principle. i'm uncertain about so many things says:
shukiat has
reverted to his perpetual pms after the pizza party

ky- screwed up physics RE presentation. it's all bcos of the heisenberg uncertainty principle. i'm uncertain about so many things says:
argh

ky- screwed up physics RE presentation. it's all bcos of the heisenberg uncertainty principle. i'm uncertain about so many things says:
arsehole doesn't collect worksheets for me when i'm away and says its my fault

//pancakebunny// pekness.blogspot.com - Shu Kiat Strikes Back! says:
hahaha

//pancakebunny// pekness.blogspot.com - Shu Kiat Strikes Back! says:
HAHA

Shukiat, shukiat, when will you learn? arseholery will not earn you a place in people's good books. and if you want to survive out there in the world, you're going to have to learn how to be nice. though i think that's impossible, so you can give up and hide somewhere now.

Shu Kiat Strikes Back!

2007-03-27T19:00:00.000+08:00

aha! i have finally caught the culprit in the very act!

for those of you who don't know the entity identified only as "Chan Shu Kiat" (which may not even be that accurate; i don't know his name that well) followed by a string of incomprehensible syllables (which is definitely accurate; i've heard him utter it too often to be mere coincidence or a misheard belch) that he claims is thai cultural language, i envy you.

okay lah. that's quite bad. but seriously. shu kiat is an asshole.

a major one.

first let me elaborate on the kind of person he is. i joined debates recently last year (compared to people who join in secondary 1/2) and therefore! can be considered noobish and lousy. especially with shu kiat who had been in there for far longer. but then! for the competition! in a dastardly turn of events (to shu kiat's point of view, anyway) they chose the clearly inferior, not-even-going-for-every-training-and-silly-headed PEK WEN JIE for the competition team INSTEAD OF THE LOYAL SHU KIAT who went-for-every-single-training-and-then-some! how had this tremenjous error been perpetrated! it had to be a fault with the teachers!

and obviously the steps to rectify this hideous wrong was to TELL EVERYONE WITHIN 100m HOW LOUSY PEKWENJIE IS. in those very terms. repeatedly.

ashish tells me that shu kiat whined, "how could they have picked pek wen jie?!" (which, actually, seems quite In Character for him.) ashish responded, '' 'cause he's better?" (which is quite mean and possibly untrue. as in the stuff about me, not whether ashish responded thusly or not. but i hope not.)

shu kiat was taken aback.

"that noobish pek wen jie? better than me?! you LIE! how can it be! i, who go-for-every-single-debate-training? i, who am-fervently-supportive-of-debates-in-the-misguided-belief-that-it-will-become-my-core?"

perhaps in not so many words. probably just, "i've been here for so much longer! of course i'm better!"

ashish responded, "but pek wen jie has more talent." another blatant lie, but heck, i LIKE him.

but i speaked for the competiton and did okay. so shu kiat was proved - DUN DUN DUN!!! - wrong!

*insert shukiat rant*

from that point on, shu kiat kept approaching me at every opportunity and going, "hi, PEK wen jie." followed by an inquiry on whether i was going for the latest debate thingy.

i'm always tempted to reply, "no, because i have a LIFE, unlike you, and a proper CCA (now), and RT, and therefore am not PUTTING ALL MY EGGS IN ONE BASKET IN THE VAIN HOPE THAT IT WILL BECOME CORE *COUGH* *COUGH*" or if i'm going, a simple yes suffices.

anyway, what attracted my attention was that his birthday was on the 23rd of march. or somesuch. and so! HE BOUGHT PIZZA (12! 12! 12 pizzas!) for his ENTIRE CLASS.

bribery or what huh.

then again, pizza... yum.

anyway.

that's a hella lot of pizzas.

and then kengyong got sick (from eating too much pizza, the pig) and COULDN'T COME TO SCHOOL, MISSING HIS CCT!

then i realized his ploy. it was a CHANCE TO STRIKE BACK AT EVERYONE WHO ANTAGONIZED HIM! keng yong frequently abused him and this was his revenge!

i bet he SPIKED the pizza.

with ACID.

and ANTHRAX.

the foul knave.

or that maybe i wanted some pizza and i didn't get it :\ (or rather i couldn't bear going up to him and having him ask me, "so, want some pizza, PEK wen jie?" in that smug voice of his and see that smile on his porky face) then again, i had eaten already, but it was the principle of the thing. like damn, man.

doesn't matter. i shall track him and see the OTHER evil deeds he perpetrates. more updates as and when news comes in.

epiphany

2007-03-26T21:41:00.000+08:00

i suddenly realized that i'm a lazy bum. and that, furthermore, a lot of the people i know have a monopoly on what - or at least, what i believe to be - are quite laid-back, slow-paced CCAs.

not a particularly new stroke of enlightenment, but nonetheless, i, with a certain amazed surprise, found out that in debates, i know people who are in band, ncc, boy's brigade, and guitar ensemble.

so i can't join them and slack off 'cause, in a slightly ironic twist of events, these people are actually active in these slackish ccas.

:\

in bb we have marvin and gan. and they. are. pressuring. me.

or actually it's just gan. who's not really in debates. but arghhhhhhhhhh.

on a side note:
the most beautiful moments in my life are when i'm drifting between sleep and drowzy wakefulness, when the boundary between conscious thought and oblivion is hazy and i'm floating in a sea of silence. lying on the hospital couch, the sunset a blurry memory in the back of my mind and the remnants of its image kissing my eyelids, and all that i can think of is the warmth of my leg against the sheets.

i became acutely aware of this state when my dad's handphone rang. i was literally drifting off when i was jerked back to reality.

not pleasant.

finally, i'd like to say that this has been a turbulent time period and thus my blog posts aren't up to scratch. but fear not! in time to come, i shall regain my former glory! whee.

calm after the storm

2007-03-25T22:53:00.000+08:00

and ahma is recovering (:

so all's fine! and i went running and felt really psyched even though i had this hideous headache that wanted to split my skull. but the wind felt good upon my skin and i'm done with bio assignment, philo essay, and physics mugging XDDD and chinese zuowen! god, doing my homework feels good. i should try it more.

though i haven't dotaed this whole weekend. arghhh.

oh well.

going to BB tomorrow. i feel guilty for missing so many sessions even though i had legit reasons. oh well. plus the test, which i am veryvery nervous about. aboot. lol canadians.

late at night when i eat sugar i go hyper.

as in, hit block/unblock on one contact repeatedly and piss them off hyper.

LOL.

silence

2007-03-22T23:12:00.000+08:00

my grandmother'd been suffering from stomach pains for a while. kinda culminated in last night. she vomited every 10 minutes into the sink and had severe pains the rest of the time.

i don't know how the rest of you feel when your elders are sick, but it was pretty traumatizing for me.

at this age, even though i should know better, i guess i'm still enraptured in the notion of personal immortality- of the eternity of my family. and to have it shaken as strongly as it has been has rocked the foundations of my illusions.

note i say illusions. because, you know, that's all a perception ever is.

when i called my dad to ask if he was free to pick me up - as he usually does - i was pretty taken aback when he didn't pick up the phone.

was he sleeping? it was seven. i felt bored and lazy.

then i suddenly realized something.

i called the house and asked where my father was. the maid picked up; "sir went to the doctor, with ahma" was her answer.

shortly after my dad called me.

"where are you?" i asked, trying to keep my voice controlled and unpanicked.

"at nuh," he replied.

"with ahma?"

"with ahma."

"then... how?" i don't think i could keep my voice from sounding small. i felt like a five-year old.

"you go back yourself lor."

"no, i mean... how?"

"later mummy fetch you go."

"okay."

and so i went home. i felt fucking shitty. my grandmother was hospitalized.

i'm not a pessimist, but i know the facts. half of those over 70 years of age who are hospitalized don't get better; the thought that my grandmother's life hung on the flip of a coin didn't particularly comfort me. i stalked home, fell asleep on the bus, got off 5 stops early at whitley road then gave up and took a cab back home.

then my mum came back and fetched me to NUH.

taking the lift up to the ward was a peculiar sensation. what would i see? as the numbers flickered and the waft of industrial grade bleach and disinfectant reached my nose, i could barely contain a shiver of apprehension. i wanted to go home. i wanted to leave this place.

but not without my grandmother.

she looked weak when i finally got in. all my relatives on my father's side were there, cousins and their bratty babies. all i could do was stare there.

i almost cried when she started calling for my sisters, who are in america. and my uncle/aunt, who are in israel. but i blinked hard and they went away.

she constantly retched, but she had puked so much earlier that she was merely dry heaving. there was nothing left. and all i could do was hold her hand.

the one indelible memory will remain trapped in the vault of my recollection forever; the husky wheezing sounds of my aunts' sobbing, the whir of the air-conditioner, the soft moaning of my grandmother, and the feel of her wrinkled skin, smooth and yielding against my fingers - and although it was not quiet, the abject silence that held the room in thrall.

as she complained of how much it hurt, all i could think of was how tremendously silent the room was.

wassup. yo.

2007-03-20T20:39:00.000+08:00

short blog today.

i suddenly had a curious thought. what are your definitions of home? it was a sunday morning when i woke up, dazed, sleepy, wanting merely to curl back up in the warm cozy sanctum between the blanket and the oh-so-warm mattress.

i struggled to my feet, though, and stumbled into the next room. it adjoined the balcony; bright light filtered in like beams of benevolent sparks, dancing about, flickers in the cool morning air. the sky was that delicious shade of blue, the sort of colour that writers wax poetic about, the burning sort of azure that looks as if it were so clear you could look into the sky and see the very universe unravelling before your eyes.

leaning over the edge of the balcony, i suddenly felt a surge of vertigo, apprehension tempered by my blurred vision and ethereal state of mind. what was home to me? was this home? it hardly seemed civilized, this messy tangle of concrete and wild greenery as far as the eye could see. what difference did it make, whether that overgrowth housed a teeming berth of insect and plant life or was an outshoot of more mortal exploits, containing mere human organisms?

it hardly seemed to matter.

was this home?

i imagined another city. another name. another people. yes, this did feel... different, somehow. the neighbourhood burst into noise as a car whizzed by below, eliciting a flurry of barks from the tenants opposite and the rustling of my neighbour's bonsai trees.

was this home?

perhaps it was the familiarity. i toyed with the notion for a while, lazily turning it over in my head while gazing blankly at the horizon, where metal and brick met white streaks of colour and melded into one.

or perhaps it was the content.

maybe it was where familarity breeds content that we are willing to set down our ways, to live, to prosper, within the outwardly and inwardly constraints of that prison we call home.

voluntary imprisonment. and those who have wanderlust merely haven't found the prison they want to lock themselves into yet.

my mother calls downstairs for me to have breakfast, and i rise from my perch and step down, my feet creased with dirt and dust from stepping barefoot on the balcony, a sense of strange turmoil within me as i walk down the stairs.

last words

2007-03-17T12:16:00.000+08:00

when i got there, running for the door and turning around to wave a quick goodbye to my father (who had kindly consented to fetching me there, as he does every other place i have to go to) bern and brent were already playing the xbox games on display. a minigame frenzy. now, bern and brent are two individuals; almost identical in height and name. that is, they're both very short.

and very cute =)

bern is veryvery small and looks like a P4 student! if i knew how to upload picture i would upload a picture of him sitting in Ronald McDonald's lap (once i persuade him to do so) and let you all goggle at his cuteness. brent is less cute, because he has a mild attitude problem and likes to spin around a lot. anyway, i went up there and grabbed them by the head.

"hello," i said.

"oiiiie! oh noes i lost," said a distraught bern who then proceeded to poke me.

anyway, when the competition started, I got an uber-bad feeling. I was hideously nervous. as the clock ticked down to 10.00 a.m., my stomach twisted and turned like a bottle in a storm, its contents flung every which way and only wanting to get out.

as it did, in the predictable manner it always does.

i made some fun by looking at the list of competitors. "hee we're up against some 'kingdom of children'? how pro can they be? their names so lame :("

then our opponents arrived, i swallowed a gulp of apprehension. they looked damnnn paikia. zhonghua secondary. their shirts tucked out. skinny lanky and looking like they spent half their waking time playing dota and the other half ponning school for a smoke or something.

and then they threw off heroes off the top of their head, utterly countering our carefully thought-out combo. i took heads and they took tails for the coin flip. they got the flip and started:

"pick side- sentinel."

we picked queen of pain.

they picked raigor.

we picked two headed dragon.

they picked silencer.

we picked doombringer.

they picked warlock.

we picked crystal maiden.

they picked venomancer.

we picked tiny.

they picked omniknight.

then we started playing. i was so insanely nervous that i couldn't stop dry-heaving - though thank god nothing came out - though, as it turned out, i needn't have been.

we lost 46-4.

rather sad.

argh

2007-03-16T08:26:00.001+08:00

it's the morning. today will be the day of the second round of dota competitions.

i'm soooo nervous.

i'm calling up all my team members and giving them pep talks.

sadly, not all of them have their phone turned on.

i hope we win.

good luck to me.

profile!

2007-03-14T23:43:00.000+08:00

today! i shall give a profile. because some of the people i associate with are pretty damn funny. and for today the profile is on- matthias chia!

i have no idea what class he comes from. all i know are the essentials. the facts and qualitatives- that he's in debates and track, that he cuts a menacing figure in a blazer, that he's a prefect, that he's tall and skinny and likes short haircuts that emphasize the shape of his skull.

still, when i think of matthias, the thing that comes to my head immediately is him miming the actions of an indian eating with his hands and voicing in an incredulous voice, "Whaterf?!" It'll stay in my head forever! arrrrgh.I spent a whole week saying "whaterf" before getting it out of my system after matthias infected me with his peculiar lingo >_<

oh yes, that and the indelible images of him waltzing into research education class (quite literally; he was almost-dancing) an hour late and going, "hey, i thought [the teacher] didn't come today, so i was stoning in the library," and then calmly sitting down.

and he didn't get scolded.

which surprised me quite a lot.

okay now the normal post of the day. our dota second round is on friday! from 10a.m. to 12a.m.! i'm pretty excited about that. psyched up man, psyched up. still, i have to finish my homework if i want to possibly have any hope of getting a >3.59 gpa this year. so!

lessee what i have:
1. random english assignment which i am quite confused about.
2. random lit assignment involving a comparison of [R&J] and [Oedipus Rex: The Theban Plays], in particular oedipus the king
3. two dushu baogaos
4. jap compo + study for test!
5. assorted physics worksheets
6. mug some math
7. writing competition entries

>_< quite a hefty sum. so must get started.

in case you can't tell, i like lists.

dotadota!

2007-03-13T21:19:00.000+08:00

haha today owneddd!

headed down to raffles city at about 2.pm. i woke up at 11.30 >_> so i bathed real quick! then had one last practice game of dota. where joshua got into a huff because i kept saying that he ksed. and then he dropped eye of skadi in enemy base. :\

sheesh.

anyway, so my father fetched me down to raffles city and then i stoned abit at mrt station whilst waiting. but then! i discovered a MAJOR DANGER in hanging around mrt stations looking purposeless!!!!

YOU GET ACCOSTED!

i was just standing there when WHAM! this guy hit me like a truck! he appeared in front of me and started babbling quickly about some prison thing and how i had to give him a chance. he then proceeded to wave a clipboard in front of me so fast the words were a mere blur. and he flexed his muscles menacingly.

i didn't catch much, but i did hear "i used to fight a lot and i was in prison!"

as might be expected, since this big, hairy, overweight malay guy was advancing towards me in such a manner, i quickly acceded to his demands.

"how much..." i mumbled, fishing in my pocket. the moment he came up to me, even though he started with "this is not a donation!" i knew i would have to pay money.

"$2 for a pen," he said, mellowing down, once it became apparent i would cough up some cash.

"okay..." i mumbled again. he gave me some crap pen. i stuffed it in my pocket.

but later it came in handy! because 4 other people tried to extort money from me in a similar manner and all i had to do was wave the plastic, tacky pen in front of their faces and their smug smiles that just oozed "i-know-you're-going-to-buy-this" crumbled away.

anyway, then i met bern and joshua and then saw peide and brent at funan. so we started watching.

i was DAMN nervous.

for those who know me, when i get nervous, i tend to get stomachaches. very inconvenient. for all the competitions i've gone to - random shit, debates, computer games, etcetera - i always get nervous chills. it gets so bad i usually don't eat at all.

so as we heard the spine-chilling commentary ("look at that [insert hero]! since the start of the game all he's farmed is [insert noob item]! i wonder when he'll pull his act together?") we started to spazz out and froth at the mouth.

not really, but you get the idea.

sooooo as the clock ticked away to 16.00 - doomsday! - my palms started sweating. my heart throbbed. and i in general started going hyper.

we were just stoning and watching other teams play and it was so utterly nervewracking.

as it turned out, though, we needn't have worried. our first (and only) match of the day was against HCJC! or HCI. whatever. they had long pants. i was intimidated. i had long pants too, but they looked older.

and our hero lineup came. the referee asked whether we wanted heads or tails.

i stared blankly at him.

"do you want heads or tails?" he repeated.

"huh?" i managed.

HCI was quick to seize the advantage and some guy said "we'll take heads!" so they flipped the coin. and then they got first hero pick.

they picked qop.

-__-

that was our first hero too. joshua blinked, then said he would take twin headed dragon. that was his backup, but he hadn't trained it..!

the rest was a blur. when it came to my turn, i said, "lich."

my team members stared in horrification. i wasn't supposed to pick that, but, oh heckit.

when the game started, i played cautiously at first. but mid was SO NOOB. two ranged heroes, vs and bane, against ME! me, lich! me, lich, soloing! and they couldn't kill me! and i got a kill at level 6!

it wasn't my ability, it was their lack thereof. sad but true.

as we were owning (kills 13-6, towers 3-0, i farmed mek already and was on the way to soul booster) there suddenly came a fatal error.

they (the officials in charge) asked us if we wanted to remake or judge based on the replay.

we shrugged and said, "replay."

so after some consideration, they concluded that "based on farming, kills, and towers, RI has won."

it was kinda anticlimactic but damn. we still won!

no more march camp!

yayyy!

then we spent the rest of the afternoon playing the free xbox 360 games on display, before having dinner and moving off.

curiously enough, the first thing i did when i reached home was to turn on the computer, boot up warcraft, and play a game of dota.

last day of schooooool.

2007-03-09T20:24:00.000+08:00

today! is! the last day of school for a very very long time. one whole week, to be exact.

-_-.

okay, maybe not that long.

but anyway was fun. i buzzed with pre-end-of-school-joy for the entirety of the day. not even getting back my dismal chinese paper could dampen my spirits! no, not even seeing the innumerable red 'cuts' that adorned my paper, bleeding crimson...

so it did affect me a little bit. but i digress.

i realized, on the numerous lengthy bus rides i took today, that music plays a huge role in maintaining my mood. a catchy song makes me feel high for a long time. meanwhile, an unexpected full volume blast of andrew lloyd webber's phantom of the opera can leave me a shaken wreck on the floor of the sbs bus.

and billy joel's 'tell her about it' IS SUPER SUPER CATCHY.

again i'm going off topic. i must stay focused in one direction -_- my writing is so flighty. like those pigeons you see on the street, hopping one way this moment and that way the next. and then a truck comes by and flattens them.

i think even my analogies are getting sidetracked.

went lanning straight after school. a huge gang of ri boys swarmed a bus, and then left a suddenly very vacant bus behind when we alighted at some place called... 'lan labs'. it's actually a pretty cheap place, once you get past the... extremely... painful... $3 membership fee. it cost $5 for 4 hours? veryyyy nice. though in actuality it's $8 for 4 hours, but let's not go into that.

the dota was fun but it showed that we lack unity! and also that our hero combination was very skewed. so we're revamping our heroes and bern who is now tiny (aha, ha, ha, tiny bern, yes, very funny) is extremely devastating. like godlike at 22minutes devastating.

we stopped at around 5p.m.++ to go have dinner; ended up eating with joshua at macs (unheaaaalthy). then saw! GUESS WHO.

larissa lor.

eating at delifrance -_- which just shows how different girls' diets are. or maybe not. i remember my eldest sister telling me that when she debated last time she used to pig out at macs almost every training.

so she waved. i didn't know who she was at first. then looked closer. she actually hasn't changed all that much. is that a good thing?! i dunno! but she offered me a lift home, cause we stay very close by (same neighbourhood) but in the end her mom said couldn't. it was cool- i said as much - and it's the thought that counts, anyway, plus joshua was edging away from her so much that my hand on his collar felt like a dog straining on a leash. not a particularly flattering image, but hey, it felt like if i let go he'd bolt off. so i waited for him...

then realized that i couldn't go for debate! because ahma would be alone at home. my parents went to eat dinner at the Istana (president's invitation, my father informed me smugly that morning) and i was relegated to care duty. not that i minded. i love my grandmothers lots. but i had a chat with yi-xun the night before about my commitment to debate and i felt all fired up and ready to GO GO GO GO GO! and practice & read more. so the julia gabriel's interschool national debating championships would have to wait ):

when i waited at the bus-stop it took so fricking damn long for 156 to come that i thought i might as well just have gone for debate. when it finally did come, it was packed to the brim but guess who tapped my butt and made me think a pervert had come!? zebedee!! like omg. i haven't seen him in chao long and he's looking fit and six-packy and totally gymnastics-pro-imba-sleek-body-shape man. i bet if he flexed his arms you could identify the diverse muscle groups from plain sight, his arms were that defined. chiselled, some would say.

okay, i'm not gay, and i think i've impressed upon my readers the state of his muscles, so i'll stop now.

he was sitting quietly in the corner of a seat sipping bubble tea and looking small. i said hi! cause like we were good friends but then stuff happened and plus no more same class and he has training a lot a lot so there aren't that many chances for us to interact anymore sigh.

so i asked him if he was coming from gym and he said yeah. asked him a couple more questions. but he was answering in monosyllabic replies so i just waved byebye with a grin when the flow of people surged upon reaching a bus-stop and i was pushed forward by a whole column of impatient, displeased faceless people who seemed to be all tapping their feet impatiently.

actually i should have sat next to him! but there were girls behind me and i felt bad (stupid chauvinistic pride) about sitting down so i let them sit... and they sit... and then they got up again (because he's chio) and girls usually don't sit next to chio guys cause they feel embarrassed. or something. and plus girls usually come in pairs. on the other hand, girls don't usually sit next to ugly guys either. they sit next to average guys, according to my experience, and i think i'm quite average.

but girls don't sit next to me :

so i hope i'm chio xD or something. maybe i look smarmy. must! cultivate! innocent look.

anyway! so yeah felt dumb about 'giving up' my seat but too late! the flow had pushed me away. and i sorta floated to the back of the bus where i stoned and people-watched. there was this cute korean (i thought) girl who was super familiar.

then i realized she looked a lot like this girl i knew in china, in the international school i studied at, and then i stared at her! wondered if i dared go over and say hi. because if i didn't know her it would seem just plain dumb. but she was talking in a weird language that wasn't english chinese or japanese (or hokkien) and so i decided to just stone and stare at her some more.

and listen to music. and chill.

i felt surprisingly happy considering that my test results were mediocre. i think it's the start of the (minor) holidays. and the fact that i put billy joel's "tell her about it" on repeat. made me feel chirpy and bright. and the sunset was absolutely gorgeous.

so i enjoyed the walk home thoroughly. was skipping along almost as i got in. it was dark but the house was so nice and then i realized that THIS WAS IT! I COULD stay a recluse hermit for the next week and it would be A-OKAY! whee~~~

so i shall take advantage of this week and do:

(a) my homework properly!
(b) WRITE! i have like a dozen poetry/short story ideas in my head and they WILL be voiced out!
(c) read a ton of economist. i will make my current affairs knowledge formidable.
(d)go out!
(e) start running again!

i do feel so happy that the holidays have come .

oh, joy.

2007-03-08T17:53:00.000+08:00

got my chinese test back today. :\

as you can probably tell from my tone, i'm not all that pleased.

i got 39/65- a B3, basically. wahhhh.

my life is chock full of so many polar opposites that my poor, beleaguered heart must endure the maelstrom of turmoil i seem to attract.

i got 'highest' (tied with benjamin xD) for lit and english. shit for chinese. and, most probably, the absolute rock bottom for math.

oh, yes. math. another pylon of frustration in my soul. but i digress.

today was- average. spent the day in a buzzing frenzy, alternatively apprehensive and fretful about chinese one moment and absurdly optimistic the next. just goes to show the ridiculous lengths my mind will go to in order to get me to wake up and face the next day with a smile, however half-hearted, on my face.

then i got my chinese paper. hell yeah i was disappointed. i kinda mugged for chinese. i thought i would do WELL. WELL-er, anyway.

then i felt surly and rebellious again, so i went and handed up my worksheets (long, loooong overdue) to my japanese teacher and flat out told her that no, i was not going for japanese today. i didn't feel well. she seemed sceptical but - to her credit! yaaay! it appears that she has redeeming qualities after alllll - let me go. i wandered back to ri. bought 'the new paper' (my new fad; i love the tabloid-y style reporting, the rumour-mongering gossip whore i am) and sat on the steps to read.

it's curious. sometimes, when you're feeling a little lonely - peckish for some company (ha ha, the pun) - and you want someone to pop up and say hi, there's always a mysterious absence. no chance meetings. no long-lost buddies. no classmates.

all i wanted was to sulk alone and read my new paper on the steps of the ri bus-stop and i got interrupted 5 times while reading one article. joel kek mark tan among diverse others whom i can't remember. "what are you doing pek?" would be their curious inquiry. to which i would inevitably reply, "stoning." in such a dead tone that i soon drove them away.

after i finished i went to the library. read books by S.E. hilton and robert cormier - nothing pulitzer-prize worthy, but not bad reads nonetheless. they offered me a glance into the seamier edges of 20th century american society, and i was pretty fascinated.

of course, maybe my newly-imposed temporarily introvert nature has something to do with that.

as i walked to the bus-stop, from the library, i took a step off the school grounds and onto the elevated 'podium', of sorts, staring over the rail and into the sky before beginning my descent. i could see a little pocket of bright blue, the view strangled by the nest of green lattices and architecture that mired the ceiling.

i've walked this way many, many times, but each time the sudden light always catches me by surprise. i stand there and watch for a long, long time, before walking down to the bus-stop.

the one about the mystery girl!

2007-03-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

what the hell.

today was a strange day.

woke up in the morning and realized - gasp - today we were moving out of our lovely home to stay in a dinky 'lil (relatively) house to stay for a year while my mum, ablaze with home frenzy, plans to renovate our intended future home. It was kinda unnerving. i LIKE my house. i don't wanna move ): maybe i'm a little autistic haha. resistant to change, i am. i think in some ways we all are- just little introverts that flinch whenever something happens to poke too near our bubble, instinctive withdrawals and silence, always the silence.

anyway.

school was eh alright i guess? went through school in a daze. kinda hoping for test results back and dreading them - another math would kill me - and all. so it was tense.

then came the end of school. cec investiture! haha. avinash and jonathan receiving their crowns of honour. but i ponned, being the anti-establishment rebel i am. stoned in class. did very little. should have gone for the thing anyway -_-

yes! okay then 3rd lang. i was disappointed, i had to admit. when the teacher said, "wenjie! yourrrrr exchange program thing!" in a sing-song voice, i could feel my heart-rate quicken. what?! now?! i'm supposed to read it?! what's that you say? breathe? oh yes, the dark spots in front of my eyes are going away now. i scanned the page and felt my eyes widen. "MOELC exchange program," i read mentally, "you have been..."

i felt a surge of... emptiness.

my chest felt hollow.

it said i was a 'reserve', then proceeded to tack on a 'we will inform you if anyone we actually selected and give a damn about (no, okay, maybe not like that) withdraws'. rather a nasty slap to the face :\ like jesus. alright, so i'm not perfect material but! that's a little offensive.

maybe i'm reading a little too much into it, but yeah, i do feel a little regretful. pissed. was it my posture when i went for the interview? my breath on that day? maybe i should have overdosed on breath mints xD but yeah. lessons learnt- i'm dealing with the pain. it's sad, but life goes on.

and i still have CAP. thank god i applied. i just hope i don't get snubbed by that too. i must have faith!

pleasepleasepleaseplease.

faith!

okay. as i was walking back from third lang to ri for debates training - zzz soooooo busy! - i saw this girl!

okay highlight of the day!

this is what my article was about (:

erm yeah. i was walking... and my eyes fell upon this girl.

so i looked up... and up. man, was she tall. kay, i'm being quite an asshole, but though that sentence seems derogatory it ain't a bad thing. like, y'know, 'man, were her breasts big'. 'cept that tall is more neutral than big chests. maybe i should shut up now.

okay, anyway, being one to always appreciate a chiobu when she walks by, i looked at her face.

then this girl gave a little wave, and said "hello wenjie."

i did a double take. what the heck?

(O_O) <---- me. how did she know me?!?!

she seemed a little familiar (rgs girl, figured she was gep prolly, nanyang?! had to be. i don't know any other girls, the anti-social loser i am) so who was sheeeeeeeeeeee.

"who are youuuuuuuuuuu?" i yelled at her retreating back as she walked past me. "someone you know," she threw back, and then waltzed away.

wah lao. who are you lah -_- maybe see who you are how i know you then ask you go out with me leh! dun PLAY COY PLEASEEeee.

okay i'm feeling a little spastic.

but yeah, the sentiment is about correct.

so! mugshot. to help identify this girl if anyone who visits this place sees her. umm. tall, slender, tanned. wears glasses. rgs. can't remember her face exactly! but she wasn't ugly. pink bag. i think.

so i walked back to ri feeling more than a little confused. then went for debates lor. slack today. i didn't debate (being late, delayed by mystery tall chiobu) and watched them prep. "this house believes that politicians should serve for a limited duration of time" was the motion. ri juniors were preparing opp, seniors (i.e. competition team, since ri rarely sends its non-sec4 (and thus pro) people) were prepping prop.

i watched the debate halfway through! after like 1hour of prep. then my dad called. in the middle.

i forgot to turn my phone to silent.

was rather distracting. everyone stared at me -_- so i went homeeee. to my new house which is small and full of boxes. i spent two whole hours working and unpacking boxes. then ate some dinner (instant noodles whee). then came up and started blogging. yeah. now i'm allergic. i raised hella lot of dust unpackinig shit. and i have in my hand a picture... of me when i was 10! >_< !!!!! argh. i look... like SHUKIAT! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

the hideousness it all is mind-boggling.

while rummaging through the boxes, i also found a lot of other stuff. like a ton of cards.

and i mean a TON of cards.

i have 5 or 6 packs.

sigh.

my fingers itch. i'm going to go shuffle them now.

and wonder who the mystery girl is -_-.

tag if you know!

ri english blog! article 2!

2007-03-03T20:19:00.000+08:00

The topic i want to address today is not an article per se; it is in actuality a collection of articles, a general issue that newspapers have been avidly covering, though the buzz is mostly limited to South-East Asia.

Basically, there's been much ado over what the media labels 'economic nationalism' lately, in particular within Indonesia and Thailand. What's the commotion about?

Well, since Thailand experienced a coup initiated by its military forces, the joint military junta that has since assumed de facto power over the political innards of Bangkok has begun claiming that Shin Corp., a company under previous Thai prime minister Thaksin Sinawatra, is a national asset of Thailand and that the - I can't remember the word, but it involved the words 'rich', and 'capitalist' - Singapore (or representative companies therein) had no right to come in and invest in it.

They cooked up - I'm sorry, I meant put forward - a claim that satellites belonging to Shin Corp. would be used to spy on top-secret Thai military phone calls. Thusly, the sovereignity of Thailand would be compromised and so on and so forth.

The Singapore government was, understandably, taken aback. They issued a statement in return: "The Singapore government regards these comments as highly unfortunate. We will wait and see [what will happen]." Or such words to the effect. It was, basically, a 'huh?' phrased in civil service language.

Since then, the Thai military junta has alternated between a declaration of 'seizing back of national assets' and a 'buying back of previously noted assets'. The see-saw-ing of the Thais, perched upon one momentuous decision before fluttering to another - not to mention the decision itself - has made both foreign as well as Singaporean investors nervy.

Singaporean investment has dropped by 88%. Considering that Singapore is one of the biggest investors in Thailand, 88% is huge.

Indonesia, meanwhile, has issued a sand-ban, and in an eerily similar situation, also has Singaporean companies controlling a major stake in some of Indonesia's biggest Telecom services. Rumblings of dissent have begun - deja vu, anyone?

Considering the situation, I wouldn't be surprised if Indonesia experienced a similar drop in investment.

These policies are, in my humble opinion, merely moves designed by various cabals to oil the wheels of the political chichanery of these respective countries. If the citizens of these countries fail to see that, then it is to their loss - and as opinion polls show substantial support of these claims, it is a case of the blind leading the blind indeed.

Why in the world would Thailand want to address Singapore in such a way? One possible explanation is that Thailand regards Shin Corp. as a continuation of the sins that ex-Prime Minister Shinawatra has perpetrated. Still, it's an extremely short-sighted view of events that can only lead to misfortune for Thailand.

And if Indonesia doesn't look out, it will be stricken too.

To put it simply, investment - wealth, jobs, and everything that comes with it - will only come when a country is stable. Making comments such as "seizing of national assets" will not just unnerve potential and existing investors; it will make them run for the hills screaming.

Not a pleasant experience for a still-developing country.

If Thailand - and Indonesia - don't rethink their attitude towards capitalism, they may have to face a sudden cold shoulder from the rest of the world.

Not to mention the giant figure of China that may squish them any time.

misunderstandings

2007-03-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

zzz.

today was the end of the trials known as 'cts', that elaborate scheme to torture and torment ri students.

it also meant the start of dota!nights, instead of rabidmugging!nights.

tonight wasn't as fun as i thought it would be.

came home at 6.00, after third lang, started playing- had a couple of fun games.

but after dinner i got owned bad.

i dunno why. i get extraordinarily worked up over dota. i know it's just a game, i know it's just computer images moving around, i know that my 'kill' is just a sequence of 1s and 0s floating around in cyberspace and that it's a tedious event to computers (whom i'm sure are exasperated at their hosts' excitement over such meaningless issues) but it never fails to get my blood pumping.

ksing (kill-stealing) makes me pissed. i yell (capitalize my letters), curse, sulk, and bitch.

when my team gets owned (or i get owned, or i'm not doing well in the game against expectations) i get pissed. i get frustrated. i yell more.

it's ridiculous. dota is a game. it is just a game, no more, no less. why am i so agitated over it?

to the point of alienating my friends.

to the point of alienating strangers :\

dota has been the source of many friendships and the destabilization of many more. a simple game of dota easily has the power to crack the foundations of well-being that exist within the wells of friendship i draw upon.

it was because of dota that i got pissed with hwj; it was because of dota that we got back together; because of dota that we strengthened our friendship, because of dota that we lost it.

and now, it seems, dota is intruding on my relationship with others.

i know it wasn't your fault (or if it was, as my still-pissed soul rants in the depths of my being) i'm sorry for yelling. i know that you didn't mean it. and that i shouldn't care about dota anyway.

but i do.

maybe i should just take a break.

misgivings

2007-02-28T21:12:00.000+08:00

i'm going to install a hit counter.

this might very well destroy the remnants of my dignity, but i'm going to do it anyway.

>_>

OMG BIO TEST TOMORROW ZZZ.

a streak of misfortune

2007-02-27T18:38:00.000+08:00

what word is the opposite of serendipity? whatever it is, no other word can express how pissy my life has been recently. besides maybe a couple of epithets, but i doubt a blog meant for the public should contain such words, so i won't sully the pristinity of this page.

but what the hell.

yesterday, i had a hugely frustrating encounter with a stubborn, cantankerous, headstrong, dogged, pig-headed, perversely obdurate, opinionated excuse for a bus-driver.

Picture this; i'm standing outside the RI bus-stop wearing a sweat-stained PE t-shirt with a fine layer of dust on top and the words "Raffles Institution" printed clearly on my back. on my feet are gray-white school shoes that looked as though they have seen better days (perhaps clean ones), i have a school bag slung over my back, and i'm in the company of a couple of friends similarly with school bags and uniform-clad. it's starting to get dark- the sky is streaked with trails of incandescent purple and orange, the sun obscured and swallowed for a moment by a flock of HDB flats.

a bird wings its solitary way overhead, soon followed by a number of others.

i'm dead tired after hours of drills, and all i want is to go home to mug for the math test today. and maybe sleep.

fortunately, or so it seems, 157 screeches its way to a halt in short order. i marvel at my luck, laughing at something someone said before i get on the bus.

then to my surprise get accosted for not having an ezlink card and paying with coins.

the reason, the bus-driver explains slowly, as if he is afraid i will not understand, is that the company says so. they're afraid that i'm not a student. after

i reply just as exaggeratedly that i have had no trouble with buses before. i tell him that i've taken buses tens of times with school uniform and no ezlink card, and haven't been addressed in this absurd manner before on my lack of one.

he says that i need my ezlink card.

hello? what the hell is your problem? i'm in my school uniform, for chrissake, or was that such a long part ago of your history that you've lost the ability to recognize one when it slaps you in the face?

i didn't actually say that, but i thought it, and voiced a more acceptable version to him.

he said that i might have worn a uniform to deceive him, and that i might not actually be a student.

who the hell would go to such an extent? it was a ridiculous statement.

i spend 3 bus-stops arguing with the driver.

eventually he asks me where i'm going, and i tell him bukit timah. he replies that it will cost 1.10.

what the fck.

honestly, anyone with half a brain could tell that i was a student, especially considering that i'm OUTSIDE RI, i'm in SCHOOL UNIFORM (albeit PE) and i have a BAG with me. also, that i have FIVE OR SIX OTHER RI STUDENTS with me?

i've never dealt with a bus-driver as repugnant and unreasonable as him.

all i wanted to do was walk off that bus and give him the finger. i didn't do the former because doing that would have made peide (who was standing with me silently in chagrin while i was arguing) probably get off with me. my quarrel was with the bus driver, not peide, and i didn't want to make him wait. i didn't do the latter, though i was sorely tempted to, because it would have merely lowered me to his level.

so i paid the 1.10.

the only thing going through my head at that point was the somewhat uncharitable thought that when i got out of university i would be capable, eventually, of earning ten times as much as he ever would.

looking back i realize that i was, possibly, in the wrong.

for all i know, there may be some obscure sbs charter that states that any young teenagers in school uniforms are to be assumed to be adults and charged similarly if they do not have an ezlink card.

seeing as how i've never been reprimanded for that situation before though, i have certain doubts on that point.

the issue still simmers in my mind, among other things.

like the hideous math test, which i am definitely going to fail.

nevermind. i shall mug bio first.

debates.

2007-02-22T21:27:00.000+08:00

shit. i just had debates training, and i feel sooooooooooo noobshit right now.

in conclusion, it was a bad practice. lets leave it at that.

important factors:

1. REFINE MY SPEECHWRITING PROCESS

God, i have to prioritize better. wen jie, you can do it. you can. writing a speech in 1 hour should be easy. you need 4 pages to do well, so FILL UP THOSE PAGES.

2. READ MORE.

Myanmar has political prisoners? oh shit. i didn't know that.

case in point.

3. FOCUS ON ORGANIZATION

Nervousness is no excuse for dropping case division. PRACTICE BOY PRACTICE. if you want to get in another competition, you'll have to do better than that. and i can see shu kiat gloating in the background right now. more on shu kiat next time.

I. Will. Make. It.
auspicium melioris aevi

sickkk.

2007-02-21T22:29:00.000+08:00

anthony farlow is amazing.

god, his voice makes me shiver.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. reading the economist and listening to les miserables. i'm turning into a regular culture sinkhole.

ramifications-

2007-02-20T20:52:00.000+08:00

the boulder named 'OBS' still evokes ripples in the meandering stream of my life.

earlier today i wanted to eat some jam biscuits.

opening the carton, i took them out.

they were a typical plastic container covered in wrapping foil.

as i moved to rip the foil apart i suddenly thought "oh no! these are commitment biscuits!" and they were halfway into the box before i remembered i was in my own home again.

damn you, obs.

cny!

2007-02-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

hahahaha. chinese new year was pretty fun!

three words; texas hold'em poker.

whooo. fun shit.

i lost $8 but at one point i won $25 xD

my posts are definitely degenerating in cohesiveness

i hope that's temporary though!!!

anyway!

my chinesenewyear resolution: is to go out more! be a more funky guy and develop a charismatic personality :D

not sure if something like that can be developed-

but i'm going to be more openminded and contributive in general

even to people i don't know.

fine if it means i'm obnoxious

atleast i'm not like a quiet caveman

and this is totally a disgusting post in terms of grammar and formatting

maybe cause i drank two cups of red wine

i think i'll regret this in the morning

my cousin was extremely amusing today. i'm not going to elaborate, because i can't remember why.

and i'm better now! ^_^

*wants more links and tags*

this sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks

2007-02-17T13:40:00.000+08:00

this frigging sucks.

yesterday was pretty cool. school ended at 10.35 (after a philosophy test :\) and i headed home with the original intent of hanging out at nanyang (my old primary school) for an hour or two, check out a few teachers, see whether anybody i knew was there for the same purpose. we reached there at 11.30, but nanyang was closed (why??!? -_-) and so after lunch me and a couple of friends decided to head to my house.

it was pretty fun. i enjoyed myself. a couple of sneezes here and there, but i interpreted that as a reaction to the dust in my attic (where my consoles are). they stayed til' around 6.30, the mission of returning to nanyang forgotten.

after dinner, i realized something was wrong when i kept sneezing and eventually accumulated a small mountain of sodden tissue paper in front of me whilst DotAing. This mound of tissue gradually expanded over the course of the night, eventually covering half my desk. meanwhile, my nose decided to do an impression of a leaky faucet with moderate success.

i had to conclude that i was infected with influenza.

what the hell?

it's the fricking night before new year's eve and i'm coming down with flu?????

i hate flu.

my life has officially reached a new low.

woke up this morning with a terrible, pounding headache. and a throat that felt as if sandpaper would honestly have been smoother than what was in it. every swallow brought new waves of pain and i wished, distractedly, that the hammers in my head would just go away.

damnit.

now, the medicine cupboard in my house is downstairs, in the kitchen, where all the other over-the-counter prescription pills are. not that i'm a pill-popping kinda guy, but at that point, i would have killed for some panadol.

heck, the journey downstairs practically killed me.

walking down the stairs is such a doozy when the world spins around like a crazed ballerina.

swallowing the panadol tablet elicited another protest from my beleaguered throat, reminding me exactly why i despise sore throats so much.

i hate flu.

anyone who comes from a half-way traditional chinese family will know how much work chinese new year is. a lot of trotting around singapore visiting people and homes and praying to be done; my late grandfather to visit and burn some incense for; a whispered caress accompanied with thick, sweet-smelling smoke to the diverse gods which inhabit the minds of those superstitious like so much mist and cloud.

as much as i loved my late grandfather, i did not like the idea of making the arduous journey to the flat where he used to live. it meant that i would have to cart a sackload of oranges, cakes, and nian gaos along with me by manner of sheer brute force, something i definitely did not feel in possession of at that point in time.

regardless, i forced myself to go down. it was a typical chinese ritual. burn some paper, set fire to lots of joss sticks, so on and so forth. slightly hampered, though, by the fact that i was feeling like absolute shit. when we finished up and began to drive back, i could not help an inaudible sigh of relief in the recesses of my mind, a silent thanks to whatever gods did exist that my body hadn't decided to capitulate to the virus which was wreaking gleeful havoc inside me.

at least, not yet.

one cannot help but hope that the other days of chinese new year will be somewhat better.

success? perhaps.

2007-02-14T19:27:00.000+08:00

today left me slightly bewildered.

ponned assembly 'cause... i didn't feel like confronting the rugby teacher. and besides, i had a stomachache.

later, i decided to gather my courage and head for the crunch at lunch. throughout cle, my hands fiddled absently with the accursed sheet of paper that said, 'regarding absenteeism from cca'.

and so i made the journey.

i felt quite embarrassed when i stood there in the PE teachers' room. they all gave me disapproving stares while i squirmed under mr. romi's scrutiny (i had gone there to give them my form).

i pulled out the old 'i discussed with my parents and we've come to the conclusion that it would be best for' trick and told him i thought i should withdraw from rugby.

guitar ensemble was a no-no. mr. eng made that abundantly clear when i went to meet him at recess.

so how? i suggested RICO. he thought it over, and said okay.

after i left the room, i whacked myself in the head. RICO? and have to paw musical instruments clumsily with sec1s?

mulling over the issue, i drifted through MPP in a daze.

thought it over and finally decided i would join boys' brigade, despite the fact that i'm not a christian (but who cares?).

peide encouraged me whole-heartedly. he exhorted its slack-y nature and then reiterated how there were only two trainings a week. i experienced first-hand the slackness when i realized that one entire training (a 'parade') consisted of 15-odd minutes of drilling, and 3 hours of randomshit ("singspiration" >_<).

ms. tang inquired on my reason to join when i told her i wanted to. i explained that mr. romi and i had experienced 'misunderstandings' (to say the least) and that it would be best for all concerned if i swapped ccas with all possible haste.

though, sitting in the room looking at the diverse BB-ers nonchalently doing their homework, i was pretty amazed. rugby training never was this cool.

i might even start getting higher grades!

xD

argh rugby.

2007-02-13T20:23:00.000+08:00

dammit!

bumped into mr. romi in the morning. bleary with lack of sleep, i didn't realize there was something undeniably, irrevocably, horribly wrong, when he said tersely "meet me after flag raising," without even uttering my name. I was so stoned, in fact, i didn't even feel nervous - just mildly irritated.

when i went to see him, however, he delivered the hideous ultimatum that i had to (a) meet him at recess and (b) go for training... or else.

it was rather unpleasant.

anyone who knows me also knows that i despise rugby with a passion. or to be precise, i despise rugby training because it resembles physical exertion.

The issue plagued my mind for the rest of the day. The possibility that i might have to attend rugby training (*gasp*) the next day gnawed at my mind with a terrifying reality. How? How?! HOW?!?!?

The only possibility was to transfer with all possible haste to guitar ensemble, a veritable haven after the pissifying nature of rugby. but how? and how to outsmart romi, who was cornering me with alarming haste?

when i saw him at recess, he dealt me another blow: he told me that I couldn't change my cca.

so that means that, at the very least, i'll have to go... for training... tomorrow... after 6 months.

No, i can't do it. it's horrible. i don't care. i'm breaking a leg or something.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Begging my parents for help would have to do the trick. I honestly would rather... um... get a sore throat than go for training.

I realized that there was only one way about it. Tell my parents and be honest.

I thought it over and decided that i didn't have to be too honest about it.

--------------------------------------------

And now, having grasped the reins of parental support firmly in my hands, i ride off into the horizon...

may we meet again. anon.

julia gabriel's

2007-02-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

today i went to watch the julia gabriel's national secondary school debating championships round 1!

It was at 7.15 p.m., and my day before that was pretty average. walking out of school to go to junction-8 to eat was marred by the debates teacher coming up to me and asking sharply about what I was going to do about rugby. in a rather distasteful turn of events, it turned out that my rugby teacher-in-charge had gone and complained to the debates teacher-in-charge, who now was out for my blood.

hey, it wasn't my fault!

I bumped into him at headmaster's assembly and the rest, as they say, is history.

rugby teacher: "eh, you haven't been coming for training, wen jie."

me: "er, yeah."

rugby teacher: "what have you been doing all this time?" *looks disdainful*

me: "um... debates...?"

rugby teacher: "oh?!?! does your debates teacher know that you have been skipping rugby?" *pounces upon my statement*

me: "err..."

rugby teacher: "you better go and tell her before I do!

And that was that.

I didn't, as it turned out, tell her (mrs flowery armor/weapon forger) and thus the situation at hand.

anyway, had lunch at junction-8 with brent, peide, joshua, and bumped into lennard and jonathan koh on the way. I'm forming a dota team with brent peide joshua and bern! hahaha we're going to get owned i bet. but the experience should be pretty fun.

on a side note, i've realized that my posts are losing their edge in grammar and formality. >_< nevermind, i'm too stoned to fix it.

later, hanged around a bit in school, then headed home.

at 6.30 bantered a bit with my dad who fetched me to montford secondary, where I - to my surprise - saw zhongren and andrew! like ohmygosh. what were they doing there?! apparently, andrew wanted to watch and dragged zhongren - the obliging chinadoll he was - with him. headed to the debate room and watched the debate. it was moderately fascinating. "this house would ban gambling on sports" or something to that effect was the motion, and RI was opposing.

we won, of course.

our opponents were the silly CHIJ TP girls whose argument made little sense and whose rebuttal made no sense whatsoever. it was pretty detailed, so i won't go into it, but- yeah, they were kinda noob.

after RI won i briefly contemplated staying for another round of debates then thought 'heckit i'm gonna go grab something to eat and go home.'

took a bus with zhongren and andrew (who were also, by this time, pretty tired) and plodded along to adam road where we had our dinner. the bus ride was pretty raucous. it was one of those rickety double-decker buses which has no aircon and lurches from side to side whenever it makes a turn. navigating the streets of bishan was a hectic business for that bus. andrew got off and then... it was just me and zhongren in the bus.

literally just me and zhongren; there was no one else.

which was, as might be expected, pretty darn creepy.

to alleviate that sense of creepiness, me and zhongren started singing badly along to our respective music players. it was at this point that we abruptly discovered the similarity of rickety double-decker buses to roller coasters.

anyway, had dinner then separated and went home. the long walk into my house, however, was damn creepy. the long road was straight as far as the eye could see, dark and foreboding and only too eager to swallow me whole. shadows wreathed the road and buildings. shivers went down my spine every few steps or so, and i constantly felt a baleful glare at the back of my neck - that was, of course, completely unfounded. even so, i couldn't help turning around every few steps to look furtively behind me. every dark, cold car seemed to harbour a malevolent ghost that seethed with the need to inflict horror upon me. the trees themselves reached out hungrily with their shadowy tendrils, and the shuttered houses seemed to delight in my plight.

i endured this for ten minutes! yeah, i'm a scaredy-cat, but whatever. it is freaky.

AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE, I ABRUPTLY REMEMBERED ALL 'THE RING' STORIES THAT JOSHUA HAD TOLD ME. ARGHHHH.

Anyway, to help myself with the fear i started singing 'bohemian rhapsody'. loudly.

after i got to the more populated part of my neighbourhood and two passers-by looked at me quizzically, i felt a little foolish. so i stopped. then i started again when i spied a whole row of menacing cars.

hahahaha.

the gate was locked and i had to climb over it to get to my house. not the most pleasant of experiences. and then... when i looked over the edge of the gate... i saw a ghostly face. terrified, i let go and plunged to my death!

just kidding.

better days

2007-02-08T22:25:00.000+08:00

"The Goo Goo Dolls" is a great band.

Better Days
You ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this calm, and clear
Just a chance that maybe we can find better days

Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
Something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
The one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cause everyone is forgiven now
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again
Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

stress~

2007-02-07T19:35:00.000+08:00

Dammit. A lot of work lately.

I have a literature project and MPP proposal due tomorrow, as well as a Japanese test. I have to redraft my MPP proposal with my group tonight and collate the literature resources into a powerpoint, mug for Japanese, write a couple of articles for the Rafflesian Times before the first issue comes out (God knows when, though) and figure out what to do about CAP and Japanese exchange program.

At least no debate competitions at this point in time. Though I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

Kinda feels like I'm drowning in a sea of paper and red ink, spiralling all around me til' I'm dizzy with apprehension and fatigue. With luck, I'll remain afloat until I get out of the storm.

ri english blog! edited! article 1!

2007-02-05T12:55:00.000+08:00

Regardless, I recently read in the Straits Times that most Singaporeans disapprove of legalizing the sale of human organs. To be precise, 7 in 10 Singaporeans would not, in fact, allow the sale of human organs, prefering instead to stick with the status quo. Even the small minority who do endorse the legalization of this act would buy organs - in a pinch - but not sell them.

They cite 'it is only natural to look after oneself before others' as their rationale for doing so.

How much more selfish can Singaporeans get?

The truth is that rather than 'looking after oneself' being the motive behind not selling organs, Singaporeans have never actually been in such depths of despair that they would resort to selling an organ - to debasing oneself, as some would have you believe, in order to absolve a debt or to feed one's family.

Taking an objective view at the situation, what is so 'wrong' about legalizing the sale of human organs? Let us be realistic here. People are influenced by monetary incentives. They are spurred on to acts of kindness by the motivational force of cold, hard cash. Yes, it is not entirely a good thing to place a value on human organs, as many apparently feel. But if the government has to pay a couple thousand grand to save a life, so what? Is this necessarily a bad thing? How is it different from teary pleas by the 'beleagured' public to splurge more on health-care?

The fact is, you don't need two kidneys. You can afford to sell one. If you don't need to, so be it, but do not be so close-minded and conservative as to limit the acts of others, condemning those with renal failure to painful lives of dialysis simply to satisfy some deeper inner need of superiority, to fulfil 'pristine' morals by piously ignoring the agony of others.

Considering, furthermore, that currently the system favours those who would donate their organs after death (if you apply the advanced medical directive, an act in Singaporean law, life support is automatically withdrawn when there is no longer any possibility of recovery, and your organs are donated to various charities to be reassigned to different recipients) and these people are given priority when they require organs, then this new legalization should in fact benefit those selfish Singaporeans who would receive but not give.

In 2006, out of 637 patients who needed kidneys only a little more than 100 got them. The average waiting time for a kidney is 8 years. In the meantime, those unfortunates who are in desparate need of a kidney, those individuals whom cannot be cleansed sufficiently by dialysis anymore - what happens to them? These people are slipping through the net of health-care that Singapore as a developed nation is obligated to provide.

Precedents also exist. Iran recently legalized the sale of organs, and now no longer has a waiting list for kidneys. The typical cost for a kidney is about $1000 US, which is often 'topped up' by the recipients to about $5000 US. Iran surgeons have been internationally recognized for their experience in transplant surgery and are invited to conventions to give talks on them.

Yes, there are operational considerations regarding human organ sale. Black market deals are apt to proliferate, and handfuls of cash are going to be exchanged under-the-table more often than not. But these can be curbed by the appropriate checks and balances. Legalization need not be a blanket lifting of the ban, but rather simply allowing the sale of organs under governmental treatment. The setup of a non-governmental, non-profit organization to act as the middle-man, for example, or a governmental branch underneath the Ministry of Health - these are all possibilities. Lists exist in hospitals of kidney patients. All that is left is to implement the policy.

Why go against the legalizing of human organ sale? It's quite ridiculous to do so purely on a moral basis; what is more humane, enabling the trade of human parts or standing by and assuming the moral high ground while thousands suffer and possibly even die due to one's decision?

The correct action would be to legalize the sale of human organs, to assume an open-minded stance on the issue, and not condemn the concept because of one-sided, half-baked ethical reasons without proper consideration. Perhaps then our society will be deserving of the accolade 'sophisticated'.

and in the darkness, somehow that which seems familiar

2007-02-03T21:05:00.000+08:00

... is not so. Curious, innit?

Today I embarked on an excursion to the Botanical Gardens with my parents. It was a pretty routine day - woke up at 8.30 a.m. (a first! :O) because i slept at 9.30 p.m. the day before (another first! :O).

Strange, this... lethargy that has dominated my life lately. But that's another story.

It was a pretty typical slack morning - i.e., I logged on, played some warcraft, quit because I was getting owned, played a little oblivion, played some more warcraft and finally winning a game before getting owned again... and so on. Rather intense marathon gaming session interrupted by lunch.

It got to the point where my vision was beginning to blur.

Occasionally I cannot help but muse about what exactly it is about video games that enraptures me so. I've spent countless hours suspended in a state of semi-consciousness, hanging in the void between one mouse click and another, on the edge of my seat for the sake of a button-press - what is it for? What meaning can moving images on a screen mean?

The past is a spectre that dogs at every turn, a shadow that follows and grotesquely warps as you move closer to the source of your life, the source of your light, and my shadow reveals much that I regret. Within its darkened sphere I recall days spent in gaming, to the exclusion of all else - what could I have accomplished without those mindless hours?

Of course, then someone asks me to DotA, and I'm all, "sure!"

Zzz.

Anyway, that day I jogged to the Botanical Gardens at about 6.00 p.m.. It was a pretty nice run. Cloudy, breezy, almost perfect for a jog. I garnered a couple of quizzical glances from passers-by due to my Care-Bear T-shirt (I conclude) but nonetheless it was refreshing exercise. The sun wrapped itself with flows of clouds as if it, for once, wanted some modesty, giving its enigmatic smile through the veil that hid its brilliance.

The jog went well. I wasn't too winded, considering that I haven't ran for a really, really long time, and I was pleasantly surprised by my relative endurance.

The Gardens were very, very pretty. I got there before my parents, and I stepped lightly around the beaten paths, eyes wide with admiration. The 'renovation', so to speak, of the Gardens was wonderful. Revamping had resulted in what seemed like gentle slopes and plains of endless green as far as the eye could see and a sparkling lake nestled within the valley that resulted. It was endearing, with a dainty sort of charm, but at the same time strangely tame; they seemed phony, mere domesticated plants, nothing near the veracity of the forests we had seen in Pulau Ubin during OBS.

I made my way through the quaint, winding lanes that flooded the Gardens like so many forgotten spiderwebs, reaching a hill-top before I stopped, panting, out of breath.

We had dinner at the hawker-centre in the Botanic Gardens. Didn't think I would be that hungry at first, but ended up eating char siew rice and some fish soup thingy. The food was average, but considering its price was pretty mediocre. But what impelled me to blog, though, was the walk back to my house.

As the fingers of dusk slowly clasped the world, and the moon stealthily assumed its throne in the star-studded sky...

The Gardens transformed. Each swaying bough seemed to be an extension of something else, a greater whole, a benign clump of vegetation that looked at me walking within their grasp with a benign tolerance and a gentle welcome that seemed utterly enticing in the night air, fragrant with the scent of grass and pine needles.

The stark darkness - for it was, indeed, dark within those suddenly sacred paths - seemed to be the shadow of a kind embrace rather than the hint of menaces to come. I wandered those paths, all bemused, enchanted by the beauty of the night flowers, until I came unbeknownst to the edge of the wilderness, where I heard the cricket chirps of civilization-

The clanking noises of heavy machinery, and in the distance, the spotlight-lit figure of a huge metal crane lumbering around clumsily.

I suddenly felt quite torn about my decision to return.

Looking behind me, I saw the inviting cavern of overarching, muted green abruptly explode with harsh light, and shielded my eyes as a golf-cart, driven by a burly Chinese security guard, puttered closer and then into the distance, leaving silence and the void again.

I squared my shoulders and began the long journey home, not looking back again.